While it lasts...

This was going to be a piece about how wild it is to tell the parents of a small child to “enjoy every moment”, because the truth is, not every moment is enjoyable. And so, my plan was to explain this through examples of things my kids do. For instance, last week I was running late with the three boys to drop off my oldest at school and since he needs to be in by 8:35, and I was dangerously close to missing that cutoff, I made the game-time decision to park near the school and run him in with my 2 and 3 year olds' in tow. A decision I immediately regretted. Had I had time, I would’ve checked the forecast and seen that it was going to rain. But I didn’t have time, and I hadn’t checked, and so when the rain, on cue, came down on the four of us as we were walking, I was taken by surprise. I got my son to school on time, but I was left with two others - one of whom swiped a small traffic cone, which he then filled with water from a drain pipe and proceeded to pour all over himself. Distracted by the suddenly sopping wet child, I didn’t notice the other one running in the opposite direction- towards incoming traffic. Catching up, and firmly taking him by the hand, I reached behind me with my other hand for the wet kid only to see him running away from me in yet another direction. Luckily the kind crossing guard had my back and the three of us managed to return to the car, wet, but unharmed.

I could go on like this for another 600 words, but I won’t, and here’s why. As I reflected on what I was trying to accomplish by writing this, it stemmed from the irritation I feel and have felt when older individuals see me with my children and tell me how “fast” it goes, and that I had better enjoy it. That irritation comes from a genuine place of – struggling to find the positive in a challenging situation- one in which I am soaking wet and yelling for a child to not run in front of a car, for example. And it leads me to wonder – WHY. Why would someone see this and ever think it is an appropriate reaction to smile and tell me to enjoy it? And it occurs to me that perhaps they are being genuine too. They must see what is happening in front of them – generally they understand I am not having “fun” in that moment, and yet something about it strikes a chord within them, and that chord reminds them of something fleeting – something from a different time in their lives, a time when things were, actually, different. I wonder if that is the key word here – different. Not a time when things were simpler, or better, but just different, and simply by virtue of being different, elicits nostalgia.

Taking that into account, it occurs to me that if that’s what is really happening here – someone seeing me up to my eyeballs in motherhood and experiencing a longing for time in their own lives, there must be some wisdom that goes along with that feeling. In other words, if they only remember it being awful, they certainly would not suggest enjoying it. So, I wonder – are they offering me advice to improve my life? Or are they actually making an “at loud” acknowledgement of where they have been and how they perhaps took it for granted? Never one to let a nugget of good wisdom go to waste, I wonder – if parenting is a job, and in many ways, I believe that it is, does this concept apply to our actual jobs? You know, the one we get paid for via direct deposit?

Let’s test this theory. So, if I think back to the earlier days of my career – me at one of my first jobs out of college. In a ‘Ghost of Christmas Past’ kind of way, I hover to the side of the scene, watching that younger version of myself sitting at her desk in the shared office space with someone several years her senior. Dressed in what at the time was considered a pretty trendy “work” outfit, reviewing her list of things to accomplish that day – a report for the HR Director, benefits enrollment for the two new hires, a set of copies for her boss’ meeting with the CEO tomorrow… etc. Mind wandering to where she and her best friend at work would go to grab lunch that day and thinking about where her friend group would be going out after work for drinks, as they did every Thursday.

And you know what? It does happen. I feel it – the nostalgia – it’s here, on cue.

I see that young woman and I can see that she isn’t 100% happy – in fact, she had bad days for sure. The copier jammed up, she failed to save the excel spreadsheet and lost the entire report she had worked on for an hour, the benefits enrollment website froze up and she had to start over. Are those real problems and aggravations? Sure, they are. But they also seem, in a strange way, cute.

Does it mean I want to switch places with her – ‘Freaky Friday’ style? No, I wouldn’t choose to go back, and I certainly wouldn’t define things as being “better” for me then than they are now… and yet, it does bring a little smile to my face, thinking of a time when my phone had buttons, a time before apps, before AI this and GPT that. When ‘pandemic’ was just a word in a textbook and ‘remote’ was the thing I used to control the TV, not a style of working. When a real decision that had to be made was which bar we’d hang out in and my finances consisted of rent, food, and going out. And so, when I think of it this way, is my life so much more robust now? Absolutely. Would I go back? Not a chance. Would I tell that girl to enjoy it – yes, honestly, I would. And it’s not because I don’t think her problems matter, it’s because I just hope she gets everything she can out of this special time in her life – she should enjoy herself, because she deserves it and because it really does all change.

Now back to the future, what does that mean for us in the here and now? If our senior selves were to come back and watch us in action right now – at work – in our meetings, juggling projects, leading teams, presenting slides, etc… before the advent of new technology that we can’t even fathom yet - technology that will inevitably make things easier as well as harder. I bet they’d tell us to enjoy it. But before we scoff at that – let’s give our older selves a bit of grace – they know what they’re talking about after all – they’ve seen some things. Maybe “enjoy it” doesn’t mean forcing ourselves to pretend to like something that we clearly don’t. Maybe it just means squeezing the most out of this time – being here, feeling it, and making it a time worth remembering with rose-colored glasses. Wouldn’t that be a worthwhile goal?

If you're like me, and feeling inspired to capture those memories, this Polaroid Camera is one of the coolest ways to do it!

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Christine Robinson is a Resource Management expert, Strategic Advisor, award-winning speaker, best selling author, and the mother/stepmother of six. Recognized as one of the top leaders in the Philadelphia Business Journal's 40 Under 40 List for her performance and community contributions, Christine is passionate about supporting women and underserved families. She holds an MS in Human Resource Management from Fordham University, a BS in Sociology from Bowling Green University, and is a certified Resource Management Professional.

The former Managing Director and Head of Resource Management at a prestigious accounting and consulting firm, Christine has steered national teams, instituted firmwide functions, and established international joint ventures. As the visionary and Founder of Resource Management In The Wild, her mission is to empower professionals and organizations to successfully navigate resource allocation. A true RM at heart, Christine loves suggesting products to people who can benefit from them, and as such, may earn a commission from links in this newsletter.

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