Which Are You: A Dangerous Man or A Danger?

We did it. Over 500 subscribers in under 4 months. SO humbling!

This is a collaborative effort, and we could not do it without you! Thank you!

I am here with yet another collaboration with kick butt dad, who's a pro on a topic that matters to you.

And if I can help it, a few at-least chuckles to help you absorb their wisdom.

Meet Phil Anderton:

Our next pro is someone to whom a chain of awesome dads led me, Phil Anderton . I have become one of his biggest fans in a very short time. I dare say, we would call each other friends by now.

Our industries are vastly different, but our hearts want the same end result.

I am so excited to let him share his fervency with you!

Are you ready? Let's go!

"Do you understand what it means to be family first, over everything?"

• "You may have recently become a dad, or been married for years, doesn’t matter.
• It’s not putting yourself last, it’s not even about sacrifice. It’s not where your money goes or how much time you spend with them.?Being family first is stepping fully into your role as a man, as the leader of your family.
• It’s about your intent, how you prioritize, how you show up, as a man (yes. masculinity, strength, confidence, respect). It's about being the hero they already think you are, and when called, ready to do whatever it takes to keep them safe.
• It’s the ideologies we impart, the values we live by, and the way we inspire others to carry forward our mission. It’s about living a life so exemplary that it ignites a spark in others to strive for greatness."

"Why should a dad be a dangerous man?"

• "Because she needs you to be, so she can be who God made her to be.
• And because nobody is coming.
• When a man fills the masculine role of leader, protector, and yes, provider, then she can embrace her emotional side, her loving/caring side, as well as run the operations of the family. When she can trust you, and she doesn’t have to fill in the gaps, she can be her best self. “When two become one”.
• And if we’re being honest, 911 could be ten minutes away, and that could be the difference between living and dying. Situational awareness, reading the room, de-escalation techniques, distance from disorder, CPR training, a fire extinguisher, self-defense training, and yes, a man should own, and carry, a firearm."

"What would you say is the difference between being a danger and a dangerous man?"

• "Being dangerous means you’re capable to defend and protect those around you. They can count on you because you put in the work in the gym, with training, and by preparing to respond.
• When you are out of shape, when you don’t have your ego in check, when you rely on anger, you are a threat to those around you. You’re more likely to get in a fight, not see the threat in time, and be unable to react. Think about a fat, angry cop being quicker to draw their firearm because they can’t deescalate the situation or handle the situation with good self-defense tactics and restrain the suspect."

"How do you prepare your family to be dangerous in your absence?"

• Part of leadership is training your replacement.
• So, teach, age appropriate.
• With young kids play the game Where’s Waldo. Teach them to look for things out of the ordinary, who stands out and looks out of place. Teach them boundaries and how NOBODY gets to touch them and if anyone tries to talk to both parents.
• For older kids teach 1) why you sit with your back to the door 2) what you’d do if an old person fell over? 3) how to break a hold on someone grabbing them.
• The list could be endless; the point is they can’t just learn through osmosis and need to know how and why you keep them safe.

"What’s next after creating a dangerous family?"

• "After you’ve taken ownership of your role/roles between you and your wife, and your kids have their head on a swivel, look at those closest to you. Specifically, the men in your life.
• Could they step in in your absence? Do you trust them with your wife and kids should you fall ill or need to travel for work.
• I don’t care how much fun someone is to hang out with, if you can’t answer yes to those questions, why are they in your life?
• Surround yourself with men of value and create your base team of 5 guys within 15 minutes of your home.
• Man -> Family -> Team -> Tribe?"

"Do you have a blueprint for identifying other dangerous men for your tribe?"

• "A dangerous man has three groups of men in his life:
• Mentor/s. Men who speak wisdom and encourage him, challenge him, and hold him accountable. He needs to respect other men and they be able to step in should he get out of line, and he listens.
• Peer group. Men who are at his level, striving with similar goals, and ideally family men like him. This group is not a fantasy football league or beer drinking buddies. These men push and compete with respect and also offer some accountability and support.
• Followers. He coaches or volunteers, or has employees that he cares about. Other people that he invests in their growth and development. He has a servant's heart outside of the home and takes joy in others success.

"Final thoughts?"

"I became the man I did today because of the fire of marriage, and all that a strong woman taught me. I wouldn’t be here if not for her. I think she’d say the same thing about her growth as a wife and mother for our children.

For so long we saw our differences as reasons to fight, or we weren’t made for each other.

So stupid.

And we took it so personal.

When two amazing people come together, with varying strengths, and they see the complimentary nature. When you have shared values and are headed in a similar direction; building a family and raising kids to be amazing humans and see the value in having multiple ways to get there, then you can embrace each other and take over the world.

Come back next month to hear from another pro dad.

If you liked this, feel free to ring my bell, share and subscribe.

Parting Reminders:

Check out my monthly audio room on the 1st Wednesday of the month at 2 PM EST, where I interview dads live on Dad Talk. You can ask them your own questions in real time. Next month's is with none other than The Dad Coach, Matti Kleikamp .

If you feel like someone would benefit from this conversation, please like, comment and share.

Follow #NeverMissAMoment and #DadsMatter, as well as my dailies:

#MondayMoments #TuesdayTriumph #WednesdayWhoToFollow #ThursdayTips #FridayFavorite and #SillySaturday

And if you know a lion who could benefit from a live conversation about confidence, gaining clarity, and developing courage, Phil Anderton of Become a Dangerous Man, LLC is always open to connecting. He also provides consulting services to business owners at the operational and tactical level, including problem solving, strategy sessions, leadership training, and personal management.

Until next time...

By the way, if we haven't met, I’m Anneliese Vance, Mommy CEO to 2 under 5, Dynamic Podcast Guest, Host and Author of Dad Talk and Human Jungle Gym. I help you Never Miss a Moment Consulting, LLC.

I am the mom that advocates for dads and puts their marketing on my shoulders so if their kids are small enough, they can put them up there instead.