Which Wolf Do You Feed?

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind” – William James

Albert Einstein once said that we all need to make one of the most important decisions of our life sooner or later. That is to decide whether this is a friendly Universe or a hostile one ? Does not ring a bell? Okay let me tell you a story to explain what I mean. 

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Now think about this very wise statement. The one you feed. Which brings me a bigger question we need to ask ourselves. Which one do you feed? 

We all have the same two voices within us, the in evident fight between ego and the soul. However, no one can kill the ego as it is a part of us and will remain towards the end of our lives. The real challenge is to “work with it” and like a taming of a wild horse, to help it help you in your wider mission. 

Feeding your soul or your ego, is a direct realization of how you view the world. Is it friendly or is it unfriendly? Unfortunately, most of us often see the world as out to get us and catch us off guard. A beast waiting in the dark. Often in life, we feel we are subjected to circumstances or challenges we “do not deserve” or opportunities “we did not get” though we worked so hard for it. The ego pulsates this to an over exaggerated situation, making you deal with the world in fear and a sense of revenge. The soul will view it more with a pleasant sense of “what to do next” and knowing that every situation is a profound learning which works in our advantage. Warning. This is that breaking point that can either propel you or keep you in a vicious cycle of denial and victimization. 

Now don’t get me wrong here. Thinking that it is a friendly Universe is not about seeing the glass as half full. It is beyond that. It is all about belief that the Universe like a true friend wants to see you happy and successful. If problems occur, you do not see them as one. You need to understand with a core belief that you are going to give it your all, will take chances and plough through setbacks as if they are just a resting point on the highway of life. 

With genuine hope and belief, you see adversity as infinite possibilities, coming down to infinite probabilities.

 Now hold that thought. I am not giving you a lecture on physics, but trying to make you understand that it is time to change. Feeding the wolf is all about how you view the world. And how you view the world, is how the world views you. It all boils down to one word.

Attitude. 

Change this, and you will change your reality forever. 

I am a firm believer of this. Similar to the reciprocal concept in Newton’s Law, "We get back measure for measure exactly what we put in." With regards to attitude, "We get back measure for measure an exact reflection of what we put out." Therefore, if you find people are reacting unfavorably or if you get the idea the world is picking on you - it might be time to look at the attitude you have been presenting to others and the world. 

Respond or React?

In fact, attitude is all about how you face life’s myriad of situations. It boils down to 2 effects. Either you respond or you react. Let me explain further. 

If you go to the doctor and chances are she will give you a prescription with instructions to return in several days. When you walk back in office, the doctor starts shaking her head and says, “It looks like your body is reacting to the medicine; we’re going to have to change it,” you probably would get a little nervous.

However, if the doctor smiles and says, “You’re looking great! Your body is responding to the medication,” you would feel relieved. 

This is it. When adversity strikes, you have two responses. React or respond. Reacting is more negative and keeps you in the cloud of emotions and suffering the consequences of the adversity. The other choice is to respond, and to positively turn the negatives into benefits, or make “lemons into lemonade” per say. 

Take another example. Like a boxing ring, when you get hit by an opponent and you fall, that is what I call reacting. However, getting past the initial reaction and getting back up on your feet to face the opponent. Now that is what I call responding. 

You think you do not have control on life’s situations? Actually you do. This is your choice. You get to choose every single day and every single moment of this beautiful existence. This is where you have control. To react negatively or respond positively. This is Free Will and a gift from God to us. We have complete freedom to choose what we think and what we believe. 

When you respond to life, you are in control. But when you react, that means you have surrendered your control to someone else. Its downhill from there. Learning to respond to situations is going to give you a happier life. When people chew you out, it is not always because of something you have done. It is because they are hurting. At the end of the day, you are in control. If you let that situation be. 

I feel, a positive attitude gives you power over your challenges, rather than the challenges having power over you. You must view life as your companion in your journey rather than an opponent. It wishes you well and it only wants you to do better. In all journeys, believe that either you will win or you will learn. 

To me, attitude is that mental disposition which connects “who you really are” with “what you do”. It is not tangible yet it can bring phenomenal results. And all you have to do is start looking at things a little differently. 

• Expectations and self-worth can be a deal breaker or a deal maker. You decide! 

Not much talked about, but let me take the Que. Having expectations is one thing but when you combine it with low self-worth, you start an imbalance. Expectations are a reflection of what you think you deserve or do not deserve- Your feeling of self-worth. This further influences how you interact with people and their perceptions of you. The world then responds with a way to provide evidence that your assessment of self-worth is accurate. This goes on till you finally step up and redefine that self-worth.

 If you think you are unworthy of deserving success, you will be expecting only mediocre results. Because of low expectations you will make choices to limit your ability to succeed. It is fascinating how everything boils down to a connected system of choices and consequences and the main component in it all, is you. Now I am not saying you have an inflated ego and start feeding the egotistical side of you, but truly judge your assets and strengths and value yourself. You are worthy of more. Believe it and put effort in that commitment. Then watch the world respond. Banker’s advice. Compliance can never get you to what commitment does. Commit to your real greater self which is waiting to be unleashed.

• Adapt quickly or be left behind. It’s an adventure and not an exile. 

Maintain a positive outlook no matter what gets thrown your way. We are quick to judge and slow to rationalize. Remember react and respond? Yes, we are all emotional beings, but the real deal is in not staying in a clouded state for long. The only constant in life is change and change usually means that great learning and rewards are right around the corner. The faster you adapt and understand that life is an exciting and ever evolving adventure, you will never feel like you are trailing behind. Take risks and maintain an optimistic outlook. Change is the only constant in life and more you resist it, the more frustrated you will feel. Embrace the change and know that life is on your side and only wants you to succeed. 

• Replace Cant-Do with a Can-Do attitude. Ready. Set. Perform! 

A reasonable degree of self-confidence is a must to push yourself places. If you don’t believe in yourself, then believe me. Nobody else will. Mastering the inner game of attitude is all about a can-do attitude which will reward you with a lot of opportunities. It will also fuel courage to “jump in” instead of staying in your comfort zone. 

• Take back your reigns. Claim your independence and Shine!

Attitude also has to do a lot with self-control . Self- control has a lot to do with seeing the big picture and knowing that all is temporary and nothing lasts forever. People come and go and situations keep changing. When you react, you will be handing over the reigns of how you feel, think, or perceive aspects in the hands of the tormentor. This is one of the biggest deceptions of our time. Take back control and have a long term approach of what is happening around you. The bad news is that things change. The good news is that things change. You decide how you want to take this forward. It is your life and you get only one shot. Decide wisely. 

Understand this. Attitude is more important than appearance, education, financial well -being, the past or future. You cannot change your past and you have no idea what is coming for you in the future. You cannot change people, circumstances or their reactions to your doing. But if you have the right attitude, you can bring change you are hungry for.

 The world only responds to your level of understanding and you will find sooner or later, that it always has been you , who set the pace and depth of your experience. You have always been in control.

Remember thinking that it will take a miracle to nail your next promotion, big gig , project or whatever undertaking you want to do, is an understatement of You.

 The miracle is already here. You are here. And You are meant for so much more. 

Changing the way you look at things, will change the things you look at. Change your reality. Change your attitude.

Choice is yours. Which wolf will you feed?