Which Row do you live in?

Which Row do you live in?

I used to be in the 3rd row. 

Looks pretty miserable, right?

It was! Living life cautiously, saying no to anything that carried a risk. I would actively avoid situations that might challenge my status quo. The risk of failure, embarrassment even safety was too much to ask for a moment of exhilaration or joy.

Anything that involved doing something just for me was put to the bottom of the list. I believed then that it was selfish to put myself first. My aim in life was to support my family, do the best I could at work and get through each day without falling apart! Life was ok, normal, conventional and I thought that was as good as it got.

Then I had a moment! Was this all I had to offer? Was this all that life was about? What would happen if I did say yes to things for me? What would happen if I did something different?

I started to take small amounts of time out for myself: a walk with the dogs turned into wondering if I could run a bit of the track. And goodness did it hurt that first time! But I survived. Nothing broke or fell off. The wheels didn’t come off the family wagon. And I felt great!

As the months went by I practiced challenging myself a little bit at a time and I discovered that I was capable of so much more than I ever thought. I started training at the gym, challenging myself with bigger workouts and heavier weights. And I found the negative chatter in my head change to postive talk. I started to believe in myself more.

I had moved from the 3rd row into the 2nd row. 

Happier in myself, more able to deal with life’s challenges and definitely having more fun! Stronger in my mind and getting fitter by the day AND my family loved the changes! Mum was more fun! Happier and more confident. They were proud of me! I like the 2nd row!

The day I knew I’d moved into the front row was the day I said YES to climbing a mountain with a lady I’d only known at the gym for a few months. I said Yes without knowing which mountain, when it would be, how I’d pay for it, who’d look after the family, what would happen with my work! Had I lost my mind? I said yes first and then sorted all the details out afterwards. 

The mountain was scary! The risk of failure was great as not everyone makes it to the summit. The safety aspect was huge - walking at altitude has risks let alone the risk on injury from the sheer amount of walking and technical scrambling. And that was without the endless panic attacks I had on the descent after a fall just off the summit! And as for the embarrassment factor, lets just say my friend and I now know each other very well after suffering food poisoning together!

It was scary, challenging, liberating, empowering and I wouldn't have missed it for the world! 

It was living! It was life changing! It was full on Front Row!

I now spend most of my time in the 2nd Row with regular trips into the Front Row. 

Never again will I be in the 3rd Row!

What Row are you in?

What gets you living in the Front Row?