Which comes first: Confidence or Choice?

I've been reflecting on the connection between confidence and choices lately as I expand my coaching practice into speaking and workshops. Recently, around 3 am (my "witching hour"), I found myself thinking about my parents and the lessons they taught me related to these seemingly separate topics. While anyone can Google confidence definitions or "how to become more confident" ideas, the reality is that confidence is rooted in our core beliefs about ourselves and what we're willing to accept. The more confidence you have links directly to how much choice, and ultimately opportunity, you create for yourself; and the more choice you have, the more confident you become. So which comes first?? It’s not as easy as the chicken and egg question!

The following lessons, though never explicitly stated by my parents, have created some clarity for me:

1.????? Be Resourceful: no one is going to do it for you.

My parents instilled the value of making your own way and figuring things out. Being resourceful is like going to the library (today, we'd use Google), pulling out every relevant book, and learning more about a topic. This not only taps into your internal knowledge bank but also allows you to discern what resonates with you, aligning you more with what you want. It fosters creative problem-solving & enables you to find new ways to solve old issues.? Confidence is intertwined with being resourceful because taking initiative and relying on your abilities to figure things out encourages a sense of self-assurance. When you trust in your capability to navigate challenges independently, your confidence naturally grows.

2.????? Set yourself up to have choices.

Being resourceful creates choices. The more informed we are, the more opportunities we create for ourselves, boosting confidence. Being well-informed and having multiple options empowers you to make decisions that align with your goals and values. The freedom to choose builds confidence in your ability to shape your path.

3.????? Don’t say you’ll do something you won’t.

Why would you?? No one wins when you say you’ll do something that you know you won’t do!? Honest, upfront, direct communication is crucial in relationships & building your reputation. Saying you'll do something you won't only leads to disappointment. Being open and honest upfront gains respect, making it clear that you're true to your word. Honest communication builds confidence. When you are truthful & direct about your intentions and capabilities, you demonstrate integrity. This transparency fosters trust in your character, contributing to a more confident image.

4.????? Do What You say You’re Going to Do.

Same message as #3 except that this time you are letting others know your intentions or what they can expect from you.? Consistently delivering on your commitments reinforces confidence, both in yourself and in how others perceive you. Knowing that you follow through on your promises builds trust, enhancing your overall sense of confidence in your abilities.

5.????? Don’t ask someone to do something you aren’t willing to do yourself.

My parents worked very hard and ran their own businesses.? Growing up, our days after school were filled with chores, but they never asked us to do something they weren’t willing to do themselves.? In this way, our parents needed to be confident in us to help run our home.? Confidence is closely tied to leading by example. When you refrain from delegating tasks you wouldn't tackle yourself, you exhibit integrity and fairness. This approach builds confidence not only in your leadership but also in the respect you earn from others. People are more likely to follow and trust someone who demonstrates a willingness to share the same responsibilities they assign. If you are in an influential position, such as a Sales Leader, it’s important to delegate or recommend to someone something that you had either already done yourself in the past or was willing to do.?

When people say to me, “You’re so confident”, I laugh to myself because there have been many times that my confidence has been my worst enemy and others when I let my fears get in the way of my confidence, but that’s an article for another day. Being resourceful, setting oneself up for choices, direct honesty in communication, consistent follow-through, and leading by example all reinforce confidence in oneself and earn respect from others.

Looking to boost your confidence?

Begin by exploring your personal guiding principles - those nuggets of wisdom from your parents, schooling, your personal experiences or anyone you admire. Use the following questions to explore these principles and discover the influence on your confidence:

·??How can you incorporate the "Be Resourceful" mindset into your daily life to boost your confidence?

·??What choices can you set yourself up for today to create a more empowered and confident tomorrow?

·??Reflect on a time when honest communication enhanced your confidence. How can you apply this lesson more intentionally?

·??How do you ensure that your actions align with your commitments, and how does this contribute to your overall confidence?

·??In what ways can you lead by example, refraining from asking others to do what you wouldn't do yourself, to elevate your confidence and influence?

I would love to hear from you!? Please leave your comments or send me a note & share what are your guiding principles and how have they shaped your confidence?

Confidently,

Lana K.

If you are enjoying my newsletter, please forward it to someone you think would benefit from reading it.

If you’d like to learn more about Positive Intelligence? and how you can improve your mental fitness, shift to a more positive mindset, and develop your confidence to improve your perspective, positivity & choices, reach out to me!? I specialize in helping sales professionals and teams build peak performance and confidence through mental fitness. This is a 6-week guided program designed to help build your self-command and take control of the negative thoughts preventing you from being at your best. Reach out to me for more information: [email protected]

https://lanakcoaching.com

*Find out what is helping your Judge sabotage your confidence by taking the Positive Intelligence? assessment here: https://assessment.positiveintelligence.com/saboteur/overview

?