Which of these 4 Unseen Hurdles are keeping you from your Happiness?

Happiness is probably one of man’s oldest quests and has been at the root of all our endeavors. Our most daring bets, our deepest fears, visions of our future and even our daily run-of-the-mill routines are all meant to lead us to a more fulfilling version of our life.

But little do we realize that each day we take as many steps backward, as we take forward.

Like a hamster on a treadmill, the race is dragging us long, but not too far.

Which is why, it’s crucial that we recognize the things that are holding us back, before we take our first steps towards a dream life. Many of these things are deep seated behaviors which need recognition. Only then will we be able to bring them under the scanner and beat these predators of our happiness.

Here are the 4 unseen traitors that threaten your happiness every day:

1.      Who is pressing your buttons?

As humans, we understand our near ones really well, and also the emotions that drive them. But while we may use this information to better our relationships, many around you may use them to trigger undesirable emotions in you, knowing your past patterns. Anger and frustration are such trigger-based emotions that are set off by a pattern of external actions & your responsive impulses. You will notice that despite your best efforts you are somehow unable to control your anger in certain situations. At the back of it, is a familiar pattern that triggered you. Once you identify the trigger, your job is to redirect your energy each time a someone pushes your buttons.

2.      Fearing the Future

Fear is one of the fundamental emotions. Generated in the amygdala, deep in the lower brain, all animals experience the feeling of fear. What sets us apart from other animals is the ability to overcome that fear. Fear exists to protect us from dangers but our ability to distinguish real fears (snakes, heights, etc.) from artificial fears (public speaking, asking someone out on a date, etc.) do little to alleviate the emotions. The fear of the future is the most degenerative of all. This is a modern day phenomenon and wasn’t a part of our hunter gatherer routines back in the stone ages.

Psychologists say that once you accept that the future will be uncertain, no matter what, you trigger a desirable reaction within your brain. This stops the stress response and the release of undesirable neuro-chemicals that hinder your moods, health and eventually your happiness.

3.      The Inner Voice

We all have a little voice inside that we converse with and listen to, for help, direction, and encouragement. This voice is not always helpful; for some people the voice inside them judges them, doubts, belittles or ridicules them, and tells them that they are not good enough. That’s the inner critic.

For starters, practice aware and realistic thinking. Learn to pay conscious attention to your thoughts and question the validity of the negative ones with counter arguments: “Is this true?” “How do I know for sure? What evidence do I have?” “Is there an alternative explanation?” can be some questions to help you get unstuck from negative thinking.

In the beginning it may seem crazy talking back to yourself, but I promise that soon the results will astound you.

4.      Stop that Boredom

 Bored people are not happy people. They dwell on this state of mind and think it’s insurmaountable. They have lost their ability to dream and visualize what may interest them or what they like. Being bored means that one is prisoner of a stagnant mental state. No inspiration, motivation, enthusiasm, or hope. Boredom is very often the pre cursor to depressive thoughts too.

If your boredom starts getting the better of you try learning a new, even somewhat challenging skill. Physically arduous activities will not only kick you out of the sack but also nullify your boredom. On the longer run though, take a signal that you need to start surrounding yourself with interesting friends who are very involved in your life. Friends are the best boredom busters, but so often growing up you lose touch with such friends or no longer take out the time for each other.

Rohit Kauntia