Whew! Vitriol and Well Wishes...

LinkedIn coordinates a monthly blog series. As a LinkedIn Influencer, the editors send you a question and ask for you to write a blog post. They edit the posts, and I find that almost always they change my headlines. That is the case for this story.

Three weeks ago I wrote a post for the LinkedIn Influencer #IQUIT series. It was titled, Before You Quit, Remember That Your Boss Has Feelings Too! The post has over 40,000 views and 353 likes. It has stirred some deep emotions in readers. Daily, in my inbox, I get a letter from a reader either praising the article or condemning me. The comments run the gamut from strong accolades like:

"I read your post today and frankly I was surprised by some of the comments. Perhaps courtesy, respect and good judgment are more rare than I would like to believe."

"Leaders have feelings, bosses do not. It is a difference in style of management which determines if leaving gracefully is an option. Like the article though...."

"Lora, You are right. Everyone is making memories with those around them. Like it or not. We are doing it every day.....Here is to making good memories!"

On the opposite side, I get condemnations like:

"I'm sure you have received a lot of comments about "Before You Quit......." article about that person on the other side of the conversation. Mine was one of them and I was quite critical... I wish you would have considered things as much from the "quitter's side" instead of trying to elicit sympathy for the corporate side."

"I once heard and believe people don't leave companies, they leave bad bosses. Self reflection may be in order."

"Two employees left her in the course of two months and she doesn't want to hear any of their grievances. She is totally lacking of self-awareness and wants to stay that way."

Writing monthly for LinkedIn can be a bit "raw." My goal is to help others. In this case, I stirred up a lot of emotions. What did I learn in the process?

• Some Words Are Highly-Charged. The term "boss" is a highly-charged term. I never used the term in my original writing. It was introduced by my editors, and the use of the term "boss" in the headline of the article was a lightning rod for emotion. Quite frankly, I was surprised. I will pay closer attention to the changes that my LinkedIn editor makes in the future.
• The Manager Is Not the Employer. Anger abounds on "unfair terminations." It is very hard for many employees to separate their anger for the "company" and their relationship with their "manager." The large number of mergers and acquisitions, and downsizing of operations, has left a large number of people with raw feelings. It is hard for many to see that the manager is a person too. I would just ask for consideration. Being a manager is a tough job. Termination is never pleasant, but your manager is still a person.
• Bad Bosses Are Toxic. Get Over It. Likewise, there is pent-up emotion for "bad bosses." I acknowledge that managers run the gamut from bad to good. It is part of life. However, each interaction is an opportunity for self-reflection and learning (even in what not to do when you have a bad boss...). Carrying the anger does no one any good. My advice? Go forward by going forward. You do not have to like the person, but I would also advise that you don't want to burn a bridge.
• Not All Terminations Are Unpleasant. There are also good reasons (as was the case with my two employees) for people leaving a position. Changes in life--family moves, illness, birth of children, new opportunities--dictate job decisions. My advice was to approach each of these discussions as a person talking to a person. My recommendation is to leave the position with the same grace and dignity you had when you started the position. My advice? Work through the best path with your manager...
• Why Is Continuing the Relationship Important? My post was written for the knowledge worker, and many readers questioned why continuing a relationship post-termination with the manager is important. The knowledge worker--highly educated employees in industries like law, medicine, software, education--are part of a shared network with their manager. They will continue to have shared experiences: conference presentations, association meetings, and ongoing conversations in continued networks. They share a network. (This is the power of LinkedIn.) I believe in the power of networking. A broken link in your network limits opportunities.

So, let me conclude by thanking everyone for their comments. I still believe it is important to recognize that the manager is a person too! I also think it is important to continue the relationship with the manager/subordinate when the employment relationship ends. I offer up the post from Tim Wyndham, a manager that fired me, as an example of why it matters. Notice the feelings in this series. In this example, we were both people trying to find our way through a bad situation. However, after this series, I have a new perspective on the level of pent-up anger about the manger/subordinate relationship.

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Lora Cecere is the Founder of Supply Chain Insights. She is trying to redefine the industry analyst model to make it friendlier and more useful for supply chain leaders. Lora has written the books MSupply Chain Metrics That Matter and Bricks Matter, and is currently working on her third book Leadership Matters. She also actively blogs on her website Supply Chain Insights, the Supply Chain Shaman. and for Forbes. When not writing or running her company, Lora is training for a triathlon, taking classes for her DBA degree in research, quilting for her new granddaughter, and actively taking ballet.