Whether

The day before Father’s Day I rode the last ten miles of the climb up to Loveland Pass and it snowed on me.?I was not prepared and trusted my weather app instead of my common sense as I saw clouds building up ahead.?It was bad.?My fingertips are still a little numb.?I was dumb.?

I promptly upgraded my cold weather gear.?Along with about 13,000 calories of food and five gallons of water, I'll be taking all that gear and bike tools in my support car this Thursday when I ride to Aspen. It is June in Colorado, so it's anyone's guess how the day will turn out.

But, whether it is sunny and beautiful or snowy and wet, I'll be ready.?Whether I spend the day hitting my check marks early or struggling to stay ahead of the sunset, I will treat each segment as its own challenge and get through this bit by bit.

My mom has been dealing with unexpected challenges of her own lately.?In the past week or so my dad's moods have been erratic.?These are the toughest times with dementia. She monitors his diet, watches his symptoms, reads his signals, and asks the doctors about his medications.?The human body is complicated enough.?When trying to get a diagnosis and treatment plan, it seems like elderly Americans on Medicaid face a daunting problem.?They can go to a nursing home where they'll be monitored more closely, but those homes don't focus on making people better and they can be disorienting places for the residents.?They are last resorts.?Those who try to treat loved ones at home hope to avoid that, but then they are the front line of treatment.?They often must chase down doctors and specialists and manage the treatment plan all while facing wildly unpredictable behavior from a spouse or other family member.?It is like a second job.?Some wonderful companies provide helpers, and their help cannot be understated, but nothing can take away the unpredictability or difficulty of being the main caregiver in the home.?Nothing takes the worry away completely and lets a caregiver fully relax for very long.?So, predicting whether the caregiver will have a hard day or a relatively easy day remains impossible.

"Whether" is a word that precedes more than one option or outcome.?Whether it snows or whether it doesn't, whether I bonk or whether I rock, whether my shoes fall apart or whether they hold up, these are some of the things I just can't know.?Whether I will meet the challenges that confront me, that's another story. That is up to me, but the answer s not a given.?This ride is deliberately beyond my abilities.?I've trained hard for?this Thursday's?ride, but I only started in April.?I was in pretty good shape when I started.?In the last two months I've ridden about 900 miles and climbed about 15,000 feet.?I'll ride about 220 miles and climb about 16,000 feet Thursday.?I feel physically ready and I have all the gear for almost any situation (thanks @Kirk Webster for amazing bike maintenance and repair work and general Sage wisdom about biking, thanks?@Nick R. Herrick?for the first aid kit, Garmin watch and emergency beacon) and a support team (thanks?@Sarah Wennogle for being my wife and giving me your love and support throughout this tough process and every day before, thanks??@Marc Wennogle?for support car help, thanks?@Carly Wennogle?and @Sarah Molk for watching the girls during the day of the ride, and thanks?@KC Wennogle?and?@Chuck Wennogle?for being home to help mom with dad while I'm gone) and I have been checking trail closures and weather day by day.?But something unexpected will happen whether I like it or not, and no matter how hard it is, it cannot compare to the daily surprises and challenges our caregivers face.

I am in awe by all my dad did to help me get cleft palate surgeries and to provide for his family for so many years.?I am in awe by my mom's steadfast care and devotion to him and our family for an eternity.?I am in awe by how people have rallied to support me in taking this ride.?I am in awe of the beauty of the mountains where I ride and the beauty of my dad’s classic vintage road bike that will take me there.

Whether I struggle or shine, it was my choice to take on this challenge.?It will be an unforgettable experience.?But whether it will prepare me for the unexpected challenges in the future that are not of my choosing, well, that's up to me.?In truth, I shouldn’t need the ride to find the fortitude to face the unexpected. That fortitude will have to come from inside of me. But the ride, like other massive challenges, calls upon me to bring out this quality.?It calls upon me to rise up, think with positivity, relish the beauty of struggle, beat back fear and selfishness, and seek integrity.?This challenge is every day. It is out there waiting, but sometimes hides in plain sight.

Heroes don’t worry about the “whether” because they are going to take on whatever challenge comes. Heroes see and accept the challenge willingly and in doing so they improve the lives of those around them. Others have to grind themselves thin along hundreds of miles of road over the Rocky Mountains on an old steel bike to clear away the clutter and bluster of daily life and embrace the heroic mindset. That is my real challenge and I’ll face it each day. Thank you to all who have so willingly helped and supported me. Thanks to my mom and dad, heroes of my life.