Where's Your Measuring Stick?

Who are you better than today? Who are you trying to catch up to today? While your objective abilities remain unchanged, your reaction to those questions and, in turn, your emotional response, can vary greatly based on your answers. Are you comparing yourself to:

A friend

A sibling

A coworker

A celebrity

A professional who spends their whole life on the skill in question

A person who has different physical or cognitive abilities than you

An old version of you

A desired version of you

I’ve both seen and experienced a negative state of emotion based on choosing the wrong measuring stick. As we learn more, develop new skills, or get a promotion, we no longer compare ourselves to the old measuring stick. What used to be a lofty and ambitious goal, once achieved, becomes an irrelevant step on the never-ending ladder to success (but actually the tree to success). A performance that would have amazed old you can piss off a current, albeit superior, you.

This isn’t necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, rather it’s a consideration to be aware of when evaluating our behaviours, successes, and supposed failures. Are you not good enough today because you didn’t put in the effort, or because you expect to be as good as those who commit their lives to a specific skill or task? We tend to compare ourselves to a group, and when we grow to the point we’re in the upper echelon, we immediately set our targets on the next, more successful group, never able to acknowledge our successes. This is an awesome tool for continued progress and should be balanced with reminders of how far we’ve come, so we can both enjoy improvement and strive for continued growth.

Particularly when frustrated with ourselves, being able to ask “how am I measuring myself” is an important tool to discover if our mood is warranted. If anger with oneself leads to action that improves our current state or future abilities, it can be good for us. If it serves to merely place us in a negative mood with no further action, we’re wasting our energy and emotion. Did you not complete a project to your own satisfaction (or that of others)? Was your 10km time slower than you hoped? Are you rattled by it? Well why did you fail to meet expectations on the project, and what have you learned? How would you have performed a year ago and how much have you improved? Did your run come in over time because you set an ambitious goal? Because you didn’t sleep? Was it still two minutes faster than you ran six months ago? It ain’t all that bad.

On a scale of minimal effort to perfection — worldwide perfection — what are you comparing your situation to right now? You are inevitably better than millions and worse than millions at everything you do. Choose what measuring stick you’re using is important, as is remembering that effort and progress are cause for celebration, not unneeded frustration. Undoubtedly things could be better, and continue to aspire to new successes. Things could also be much worse, so work hard, smile, and stick with it.

-Chris

Chris Ackroyd

Hey, I’m Chris. I created Life In Questions in hopes of helping people to think a little bit differently. I’m all about people, learning, sports, and the game of life. I believe that our minds shape how we live, act, and behave, and that by being more aware of ourselves, we can live happier and more successful lives.