Where is your shelter?
Disagreements. Arguments. Clashes. Ego. Despair. Thoughts. It all starts with one difference of opinion and builds up until the day you finally say you don’t know. You barely remember how it started, you could though probably quote incidents down to the very minute details, you remember what was said to you not the intention and you remember your intentions and not words. Even as you read this you still remember your intentions and their words. Good job!
We humans take great pride in making our decisions, in growing up, in living life the way we want. We don’t want to be answerable to anyone, our thinking is the ultimate truth and we never intend harm, it’s just that people take offence isn’t it? As much as you want to grow up and “do your thing” and become independent and all the glam that surrounds it, a dream how life would be, what city you would be in, what money you would be making, single and forever eligible or committed to the T, what kind of friends you would have, what places you would travel and on and on, if you were asked to hit pause, look at yourself today, look at the environment you have surrounded yourself with, the people you chose to keep, the choices you made, the sacrifices you had to make, you would realize life is different, way different from how you had imagined it to be, way different from the change you accepted midway your planning and hoped how things might turn out. Didn’t think you would land up here did you?
The constant battle between I and We keeps resurfacing at regular intervals ensuring to create a divide and bring about a debatable change. It wasn’t enough that we had to dream and work towards it, but who knew that this dream would require ad-hoc improvisations, sometimes for you and sometimes for your loved ones, so many that the dream changed , people who were part of the dream changed and only you remain, however you aren’t the same either. While you might see yourself being financially secure, surrounded by loved ones,providing for them, at the same time you might have thought of a life where you did all that but just for yourself fulfilling your inner personal goals. You probably wanted a life just to yourself. And then stepped in the dilemma of living in isolation for some quality lone time or surrounding yourself with friends and familia! Sure you wanted people around to not feel alone, to feel like someone is there for you, but then what about their needs? You had a dream, you modified it to your present situation fitting in more people and then because you felt the need to change it again you conveniently eliminate the same people? You wouldn’t change your ways for yourself or for the ones you care about, but you would rather change yourself and replace people who showed you your challenges and pushed you to achieve what you once set your heart on.
Life is too long and yet you don’t seem to find the time you need for a lot of things. Not for yourself, not for those pending plans, not for that workout you have been pushing and definitely not for any sort of conversation (no time is good for a healthy honest conversation anymore isn’t it?). Only if you could get more time isn’t it? Quite frankly though, you do know how much time you have. Well considering you aren’t aware of how long your stay is on the planet, it’s safe to say you have 24 hours every day till the ultimate day, that my friend is when you won’t have time anymore. So while you juggle between constantly changing needs and modified dreams, let’s press pause in this moment and take a good look. Who are you? Who have you surrounded yourself with? What goals are you working towards? Do you have any will and goals left at all? Do you still have the same belief in yourself you did when you failed the last time? Do you still have your support system around or did you shoo them away and replace them and then moved on from them to new friends and family again? When the day comes to an end and you step out of the rest of the day and look up to find a way home, where do you go? To whom do you go?
Where is your shelter?