Be Where Your Feet Are | Chapter 6 | Assume Positive Intent

Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you're angry. - Indra Nooyi

What would happen if you assumed in every interaction - meetings, phone calls, texts, social media posts, and conversations - that the other person was kind, generous, and loving regardless of any past experience you've had with them?

What if you approached each of these interactions as if they were unique events, unencumbered by your mood, insecurities, or the pressure of the moment?

What if you assume positive intent from those with whom you connect, no matter how many alternative and less generous assumptions were possible?

Life would be better.

Assume positive intent, or API is a powerful phrase that reaffirms the commitment we've made to value and treat each other with respect while giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. At the core of API is the belief that most people are good and have the best intentions, generally want what is right, and, until proven wrong, will approach the opportunity open and free of burdens.

Quick to jump. Quicker to react. We need to give each other a break. We need to "API". Don't look for landmines. Don't seek out cracks. We all can improve upon this practice and become more diligent and committed to approaching others with optimism, respect, and curiosity. Think about a hard conversation or two that you've had recently and ask yourself: Did I give the other person a chance? Or was I so convinced as to what would happen that my thoughts, defensive posture, and self were wrapped up in that predetermined result? And was the result that you assumed was predetermined actually correct? Instead, what if you API? In other words, what if you approach those conversations with the assumption that they may be moments to learn from? To teach? To inspire? To be inspired? To be empathetic? To share? How much richer would your relationships be if you approached every interaction with your family, friends, colleagues, leaders, and coaches with the assumption that you could emerge better from the engagement?

Most times, what we hear and how we react has more to do with you, the recipient than it does with the sender. That interpretation has your mind spinning in a negative direction. Amazingly, something so simple can be interpreted so differently. When you assume positive intent, you are living differently. When you assume positive intent, you are living differently, hearing more clearly, and experiencing a more positive philosophy of life.

Act As If

If you act a certain way, people will interact with you as if that is who you really are. Eventually, that way of being will be more comfortable to you and will shape who you become.

Everyone Is Having a Tough Day

Be kind to everyone - everybody is having a tough day.

Your Turn to Put This into Practice