Where You are Reveals What You Love

One of the most revealing and terrifying things I ever read was:

What is at the center of your life? Carefully examine where you spend your attention, your time. Look at your appointment book, your daily schedule. These things – these meetings, errands, responsibilities – this is where you dedicate your precious days, hours, and moments. This is what receives your care and attention – and, by definition, your love.

??????????? …

We become what we love. Whatever you are giving your time and attention to, day after day, this is the kind of person you will eventually become. Is this what you want??

–?????????????? Excerpt from How, Then, Shall We Live? Four Simple Questions That Reveal the Beauty and Meaning of Our Lives, by Wayne Muller

At the time, I wasn’t happy with my life. At all. Sure, I had good money, wonderful friends and a nice place to live, but my work wasn’t fulfilling in the way I was practicing it. I was doing what I was doing so that SOME DAY I could do what I love in ways that deeply resonated and live aligned with my highest calling and aspirations.

Red flag: These passages became a warning signal in technicolor that if I kept doing what I was doing and thinking (or giving attention to) what I was thinking, I would become the unhappiness and dissatisfaction and be even more “married” to the work I was doing that I didn’t really want to be doing in the way I was doing it.

My idea about my work was that the income generated was a sort of escape route so that I could eventually do what I really wanted to. Instead, it was a prison cell, slowly but surely closing in on me.

These ideas were extremely disconcerting, because I didn’t FEEL that I loved what I was doing. Yet, by definition I did!

After much reflection and feeling in order to allow the truth of these statements to sink in, I finally let myself embrace them. Now, I had to do something dramatically different. I had to get off of the path I was on!

I became determined to do what I loved in ways that I loved and that has been my journey ever since.

As a new year begins, we often assess where we are and where we are going. You may be engaged in that process yourself.

We can reference the model offered in The Christmas Story with Ebenezer Scrooge. First, we review the present, which shows us where we are now. Next, reflect on the past, which shows us how we have gotten to now. Then, look to the future that reveals it will be more of the same if we continue to be and do the same.

The question from the book cited above is about the best question I’ve ever heard:

◆????? How, then, shall we live?

◆????? How, then, shall I live?

If you’re satisfied with where you are headed, you bless us all with your example; thank you.

If you’re not satisfied with where you are headed, you can read the book from which these questions were taken.

Or you can begin with:

◆????? What truly, madly, deeply matters to me?

◆????? How do I really want to live, love, laugh?

◆????? What do I want to truly express, with my one unique life?

◆????? What is at least one step I can take today to live this way?

Or …

If you’re a lawyer who would like the help of someone who has been there, and you’re serious about creating the work and future you truly desire, (without settling for someone else's definition of success), check out my Reclaim Your Life program here: Peggy O'Neal (scroll down to the featured section).

Every minute counts.