Where are you really from? WHO are you from?

Where are you really from? WHO are you from?

“Where are you from?”

“No, where are you really from?”

2 questions, if asked by yt folx and people in dominant culture that piss me off.

Usually, when people ask this question - they already have an answer in their head.

But I want to move away from these questions and how they try to ‘other’ us, and instead re-ask the questions from the perspective of our ancestors and our leadership.

So, let me ask myself and share with you…

Where am I really from?

Who am I from?

We are the products of our ancestors

I used to think we were unique human beings.

And in some ways, we are… but in many other ways, we aren’t.

Let me explain… we are the products of our ancestors - in personal relationships, friendships, love, work, and especially in leadership.

Through cultural intelligence, I’ve learned that we are products of systems and cultures that are usually outdated and not reflective or inclusive of the world we live in TODAY.

On an individual level, this can look like

• Assimilating to fit in, belong, and be accepted - usually by folx who are in formal power, so that we can receive opportunities, praise, etc.
• Hiding parts of who we are out of shame or fear, whether it’s because we will be judged, ridiculed, or ostracized or because we won’t receive empathy.
• Acting out of integrity with our personal values, beliefs, and ideologies because we are unaware of the systems and cultures that influence our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

And on a corporate level, because yes - businesses and organizations also experience this…

• Tolerating the “how” (how we do things) for the sake of the “what” (getting it done), which leads to…
• Toxic work cultures that drain us of our energy, time, and capacities - leading us to believe that ‘we’re good workers’ because we’re doing more
• Praising ‘one way of being’ over another because this has been the leadership standard for years, even when it’s not what is needed in the current work culture of the company
• Standards of work/being in a corporate environment that create harm internally (people and culture) and externally (the planet and people we impact)

These are just a few examples that show us how we are products of our ancestors - blood or? not.

And if we look at ancestry through this lens, then we need to be thinking about what we’ve inherited and have been programmed to think is the standard or ideal - personally and professionally.

WHO am I from? Who actually asks these questions?

Curious rebel Shiva has got a lot of questions, that I usually answer with more questions - in true consultant fashion ??

But let me try to explain who I am from and how this shows up in my own life, on a personal and professional level.

Personally - I am Shiva Roofeh.

A human, curious rebel, mindfuck master, speculative fiction lover, and perpetual smiler. I come from a tribe in Iran, a community of people, a collective that prioritizes family and aunties/uncles that aren’t ‘really’ family, but that’d be rude to say that to them (if you know, you know)!

I come from people who center and value the community and communal living. Forty people living on the same plot of land, four related families living in the same building. The importance of giving and receiving support, of pooling resources, sharing space… Of being in community and in relationship.?

Because I am a product of my ancestors, this has shown up in my life as

• Being very strategic with where I live and my ‘nomadic’ tendencies, as well as, my love of travel and search for countries that can provide me security
• Creating community and finding connections wherever I go, with chosen family and friends (remember those aunties and uncles that are family but not really? Yeah, I created that for myself, too)
• My love of food and communal meals, sharing, passing plates, eating food that warms the soul and fills your belly with goodness

And while those are all beautiful traditions, beliefs, and wisdoms I’ve picked up from my ancestors, I have also ‘inherited’ things that are not reflective of the life I want to live or what’s aligned with my values:

• Working myself to the bone, to prove my worth and chase productivity - ultimately the belief that I need to work hard to prove that I am worthy of belonging (after almost 40 years of doing this, Mama is so tired)
• Scarcity mindset: My incessant fear and worry around not having enough - whether that’s money, opportunities, or XYZ... it’s the fear that there won’t be enough for me and I will be forgotten or left out so I rush into things without pausing
• Overlooking rest, joy, and communal liberation because I am so focused on myself and my people that I’ve forgotten that my liberation is dependent on your liberation

See? It’s not just all the good and beautiful traditions, ways of being, and wisdoms I’ve inherited from my ancestors - it’s also the harmful ways of thinking, being, and doing that I’ve unconsciously picked up, too.

So while I come from a group of strong, resilient, and communal people - I also come from a dominant ethnic group who have benefitted from systems of oppression, ways of being that harmed others, and actions that kept power concentrated in ONE area and with ONE people instead of sharing.

And yes, I’m talking about personally and professionally at the work place, too.?

What you can expect from ME and how I want to be an ancestor in the making

Bringing awareness to the fact that I am a product of my ancestors (personally and professionally) has allowed me to recognize a few things:

1. What I like and want to continue doing
2. What I don’t like and don’t want to do
3. Harmful cycles and behaviors or practices that hurt others (or myself) in the process
4. That nothing is as simple as true/untrue, right/wrong... and there is a lot more nuance than I let myself believe

So here’s what you can expect from me, Shiva Roofeh, a human, curious rebel, and mindfuck master…

As well as, a Cultural Intelligence Specialist, Learning & Development Designer, and Organizational Justice Consultant.

I bring a lens of liberation, community, and anti-racism into all my work.

I help leaders not be assholes, and more… I help leaders recognize they are ancestors in the making.

I help companies and organizations build for long-term impact, design for change and emergence, as well as, meet folx where they are instead of rushing change just to tick a box.?

Last year, I screamed and yelled my way into this work because I was angry AF - angry at how we give up our collective power because we’ve become so individualist we forget we need each other. Angry because we focus on individual change only instead of individual change AND systemic change. Angry because I was becoming even more aware of all the ways I’ve been a great soldier for capitalism and oppression.?

I’m still angry, and for me that’s a good thing. My anger is rooted in passion and a bigger vision. And that passion and bigger vision is the gift of anger that I bring to the table. I used to think that wasn’t enough... That I needed to become some sort of organizational justice superhero... But that’s just individualism speaking.?

So I’m leaning into the ways that have always worked for me in co-creation: I ask questions. I get honest. I invite vulnerability. And I hold myself and my clients accountable for doing better, especially when they/we default into old and harmful behaviors.

Moving forward, I am leaving room for more nuance in the conversation.

I am bringing in softness and kindness (NOT niceness).

And instead of just pointing out things that are ‘wrong’ in our organizations, our leadership, our ways of working, I also work to chart new ways forward…?

I am from a peoples who are driven by community and deep care.

I am from a peoples who believe in doing better.

I am from a peoples who want liberation.

Who are YOU from?

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>> My friend, Sara Farooqi, and I are putting together an Ancestral Wisdoms Anthology - for and by the global majority! Submissions are now closed but I invite you to follow me on LinkedIn for updates on the anthology and more ancestral wisdoms notes.

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