Where are you coming from?

New Years is an interesting time because you are either transitioning into something new and better ... or you hit a point where you realise things are going to stay a version of the same. 

A lot of the post Christmas professional and personal development marketing is coming from the position that you need fixing. You're incomplete. You're still not enough. Success will elude you unless ... you buy what I am selling.

Notice where they are coming from.

And then notice where you come from.

What ever you are doing ... you are doing it from ... a position, often a familiar position, often unconsciously. Habitually. For example, from a position of business owner ... or from a position of boss ... or sales guy ... 

I work with a lot of high achievers and we explore this: what position are you coming from? Some of them come from a position of genuine success. Or power. Or competence. 

Some come from a position of ￡M turnover business owner ... luxury car owner ... experienced professional ... expert in the field ...

But a lot come from a position of fear ... or judgement ... or anxiety ... or overwhelm. From a position of struggling business owner. Or struggling manager. Or anxious sales guy. Loser. Imposter.

Notice where you are coming ... from. Noticing and mindfulness work well here. But ...

 It's made up, you know that right? You have choices.

Play with some alternatives. For example, notice how your life might be from a better position. A position of choice. What if you could choose a better position to come from?

How would life be if you came from a position of loving husband ... or grounded professional ... or caring colleague ... or kinder person ... or good listener?

I have a client that comes from the position that he must drive the success of his business. He employs 13 staff and they did ￡4m turnover last year. He said, "I hate Christmas. When will Christmas be over so I can get back to work?"

It doesn't sound like a position of care or excitement. It feels like anger and fear, and I can confirm that he sounded frustrated and annoyed when he said it.

I chatted with a man last year that rang me to talk business ... on a Saturday ... on his wife's birthday. Apart from the fact that this is incredibly dumb ... can you get a sense of where he might be coming from?

What position is he coming from? What other position might he come from? What else is possible?

I regularly see myself as a heart surgeon or brain surgeon ... a competent, qualified, experienced professional - an expert in my field. I have racked up 21 years as a coach and over 26000 coaching hours. And won awards. But I come from a position of extraordinary care for my clients. From a place of ethics. I am always studying and training in my field. Right now I'm doing a short Yale course on wellbeing. Why? Because I come from a position of excellence. High performance. What would a high end heart surgeon do? What position do they come from?

I do not teach mindfulness but try slowing the game down and noticing where you are coming from. And exercise your ability to choose better.

Andrew Priestley is a business coach qualified in Industrial and Organisational Psychology. He is a bestselling author and speaker.