Where Were You When You Heard the News . . .

. . . that Donald J. Trump had been elected President of the United States of America?

I, myself, was in the classroom, as always, working with a class of students from Inner Mongolia, honing our English language skills.

When the phone rang, I imagined it was an emergency.  Everyone knows not to call me, when I am in class.

Come to find out, my premonitions were on time.

It *was* an emergency. 

Come to find out, my beloved Nation had just flushed itself down the proverbial toilet. 

It was my girlfriend. 

"Do you know? Have you heard the news?"

"Do you know who your new President is?"

At first, I was sure she was joking.  Surely, she was having me on.

There is no way the American people could be such fools, to fall on their knees, prostrate, like a pack of half-witted, porcine baboons, worshipping at the altar of such a mountebank, a potion salesman, a genital grabber, a defiler of Honor, a defiler of Decency, a defiler of Truth, a defiler of Reason.

So I went back to class, to complete the session.  It was an engaging subject, the ergative case, alienable and inalienable possession markers, particles, the typical linguistic crap.

It was only on the bus ride home, from my satellite campus, that I encountered a few of my Muslim friends, who asked me if I had heard the news.

That was the day I converted to Islam.

I have never looked back.

So where were you, when you heard . . . the "news"?