Where People Grow #012: The Power of Encouragement

If you were ever to win an Oscar, the rules are that you have 45 seconds to get to the stage, say thank you, and then get off. Not a second more.

On hearing this, you know that 45 seconds is totally an inadequate to thank those over the years that have got you to the pinnacle of your profession, and get time to honour this major achievement.

This procedure which includes the “PLEASE WRAP UP” sign if you have not finished, then concludes with an orchestral swell whose purpose it to drown you out, so the show can quickly go on.

Right now, there are conversations about announcing what is considered to be minor 'Oscars' during the commercial breaks, as the length of time taken to screen the Oscars has always been a subject of great contention. And this was all exacerbated by the speech of Greer Carson.

Greer, when she won her best actress Oscar in 1943, came to the stage at 1am in the morning to accept her award. The long and exhaustive ceremony now had a very tired and flagging audience. Nevertheless, Garson approached the stage and proceeded to deliver the longest speech in the Oscars history. She rambled on for so long, that the host wandered off and sat down. This was when the Academy began to impose time limits to acceptance speeches.

CREATING YOUR OWN FAN CLUB

Many years ago, when I used to counsel people as they were dealing with the trauma and hurt of their divorce, one of my primary enquires was how many supportive friends did they have. As I realised that as they were journeying through the trauma, bitterness, and hurt of their situation they needed great positive allies around them. And so I insisted that they should start there own fan club.

A group of people that would be there for them, who got them, who would always impart positivity in what could be at times long bouts of despair. I, told them to create their own fan club, because there is power in hearing words of encouragement, especially when it received from friends who have your best interests at heart. Mark Twain once wrote, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." Such is the power of kind, affirming words.

Neuroscientists have shown that verbal affirmations light up the same areas of the brain as a monetary reward does. That kindness has a ripple effect, and so we have to, no, we are compelled to pass kindness on. This positive impact of kindness is know to have mood-lifting effects that not just brings a priceless smile, but aids our well-being. In some social sciences research where loneliness has now become a global epidemic in our busy metropolitan cities. John Ortberg would write, “People who had bad health habits (such as smoking, poor eating habits, obesity, or alcohol use) but strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated. In other words, it is better to eat Chocolate with good friends than to eat broccoli alone.”

LET`S START A COMPLIMENT REVOLUTION:

It wont take up too many words, or even that much of your time. Yet, the power of your encouragement could be huge, epoch-making; having an affect that cannot be measured.

I learned this from my brother. I went weight training with him, and before we started he told me that he was much stronger than me, so this was not a competition As an older brother it took me years to admit this truth. But I remember this day, because I could not do anymore, I was exhausted. But some small phrases he said had a remarkable effect on my performance.

When I was beyond tired he told me, "You can do it."

And when I did it, he said, "Well done."

And just when I started to smile he would say, "Let`s do it again."

It was the most empowering session I have ever had.

Are you ready for the compliment revolution??

Recommended Reading:

"The Millionaire Mind" Author: Thomas J Stanley, PhD

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Have a fruitful week,

Pst Paul

#theempathygene