Where to Negotiate, My Place or Theirs?

Time and again, I'm given the question "where should I have the negotiation, at my office or theirs?"

It's more than just a matter of convenience and definitely much more than a matter of egos.

First and foremost, it's a matter of strategy and objective.

This means that there's no one right answer.  Instead, these are the key factors which you should consider in choosing the venue for your next negotiation.

Meeting at My Place

The advantages to meeting at your place are evident: it's your territory, you're familiar with it, and this gives you an added sense of control, confidence, and comfort.  You have the chance of deciding the set-up: which room you'll be meeting in and where each person will be seated.  As the host, you're expected to lead the conversation.

A less obvious advantage is the opportunity for building trust.  By giving your counterpart first-hand access to your office -- your "home" -- she gets to know you better and so should become more inclined to extending an open hand.

There are downsides, of course.  If the negotiation goes bad to the point where you simply want to walk away from the table... you can't.  After all, it is your office, and so you cannot simply get up and step out of the room (<awkward>). 

"My house, my rules."

Meeting at Their Place

You may think you're "conceding" by meeting them at their office, but don't rush ahead with your assumptions.  Since they're the host, it puts them under added responsibility: to greet you at the reception, check in your coat, offer tea or coffee -- they'll go out of their way to leave an impression if they want to make a point.

Meeting at their office is also preferred when you want to show deference to your counterpart.  Again, this can be particularly on point in situations where trust is an issue; by helping your counterpart feel comfortable, they're more likely to be open to building a relationship with you and cooperating.

"Give your counterpart the honor of being your host."

Meeting Elsewhere

There are several alternatives to meeting at your office or theirs: you can meet at a mutually trusted colleague's location, at a café or restaurant, or simply take a casual walk.  The first alternative may be appropriate in cases of a trust crisis when a mediator can help in bridging gaps, whereas the other options are perfect to set an informal, non-business mood.

Indeed, having coffee or a stroll puts the pressure off the parties by meeting in a neutral, no-tie environment.  Further, sharing food at a restaurant has been documented to lead parties toward cooperation and creating value, as elaborated in this article by the Harvard Business Review and this one by the Harvard Program on Negotiation.

"Who can say 'No' to food?"

In Short

There's no one answer to where you should have your negotiation.  Instead, consider these factors and make a smart move.

If you want to leave an impression on your prospective client or get the upper hand in a competitive negotiation, meet at your office.  If you want to build trust with your counterpart, give them the honor of being your host and meet at their place.  Alternatively, skip the formalities and opt for lunch by meeting at a café.

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Did you like what you just read?

If so, share it with your friends and colleagues -- they might like it too!

Also, if you're looking for professional practice, advice, or fresh ideas on an upcoming negotiation or simply have questions, touch base with me via LinkedIn or drop me a note at [email protected], and I'll be very happy to assist.

Stepan Khzrtian (Cantab '11) is co-founder and Managing Partner of LegalLab Law Boutique (www.legallab.co) and co-founder of the Center for Excellence in Negotiation (www.cen.am).  Trained in advanced dealmaking at Harvard Law School, he has been engaged in coaching and consulting on negotiation for nearly 10 years, working with clients to successfully close deals with Fortune 500 companies and empowering officials and officers to best serve constituencies. 

He writes on law, negotiation, and strategy.