Where is my Reset Button, and Why can’t I find It?

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED AT: https://dollexaminer.com/2018/06/25/where-is-my-reset-button-and-why-cant-i-find-it/

Everyone has a reset button. And every relationship has a reset button. And every organization has one. Without fail.A Reset Button is a method that restores things to an even keel, or to a place of more cohesiveness and more positive interactions. Nothing can fix everything in a single step because success takes work. But resets can happen everywhere, and they do work.

So you might be asking, what is a reset button? And Where is My Reset Button?

To start off with, make a simple mental note that you are reading this article. That means that you have a peripheral or perhaps even a serious interest in having a reset occur. Or perhaps you want to see if there is anything new on this topic that can deepen the sense of resets you already experience. Or perhaps you are thinking of someone else’s need for a reset – although that may not always be a very good motive.

In any case, I am glad that you are here. We all need resets in life. And in some seasons of life we need them more than in other seasons. You might need one right now, or you might think you do, so keep reading. A reset is in store for you!

Now, take a look in the mirror. What do you see? If you were to collect all of the emotions you felt in the last day or two, what is at the top? What emotion does not get enough “air time”? What is something that you wish would be a commonplace occurrence but it is not? What is a commonplace circumstance, but you wish it would occur less frequently or not even at all?

As you look in the mirror, imagine that person looking back at you. Smile at them. Tell them they are “all right.” That they are “special”, “unique”, “have wonderful gifts” and are “going to make a real difference in the lives of others!”

In case I have not touched a chord in your heart yet, watch a simple video about validation by the producer, Kurt Kuenne. It is played by T.J. Thyne, who also plays Dr. Hodgins in the series, Bones. (See the link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao)

Now, take a second look in the mirror. Check if you see yourself as:

• Undefeatable
• Uncompromising
• Understanding of others
• Understated at times but unwavering in your commitment to helping others

If you don’t see those qualities, yet, or don’t see them at high enough rates, then keep reading. A reset is still in store. But if you see them, or they are in the process of growing in you, hurray. A reset is coming for you as well.

As easy as it sounds, your reset button is always available, everyday. It is one thing and one thing alone: gratitude.

Your definition of gratitude should be deep, reflective, and robust. It should not just be of ice cream or peanut butter or for air unless these are really special to you (like you own an ice cream company or just recovered from surgery and had your first day outside since then). What I am getting at is for you to choose deeper things like the value of your family relationships, a nice day you spent with your spouse or significant other, or the recent benefit of your efforts in family or work.

So how do we use the reset button that involves gratitude? Here’s how. Think of the things right now that you are thankful for. They should be significant like people or opportunities or the positive side of a situation. Again, you should not say things like ice cream, bubblegum, and so forth, but rather choose weightier things than your appetite.

For me:

• I’m thankful for this work of writing; may it be helpful and of value to all who read it.
• I’m thankful for my parents and ways I can serve them.
• I’m thankful for having peace with my family in general because in my younger years I did not always have that.
• I’m thankful for my wife and her care for me.
• I’m thankful for me opportunities everyday to have a new attitude and see things in an even more positive light; may I be challenged to be more positive every day!

Notice that I did not say things about family until #4. That means that gratitude started to warm my heart in ways that should already be warm on a natural basis. I’m being real with you here – and not saying something negative about myself. Gratitude begets gratitude and we should not feel ashamed about doing it. Instead, we should be excited because the renewal that it brings is ours to keep and is our loved ones as well.

As you practice being more grateful, more often, you will develop a healthier perspective of yourself as an overcomer. As a result, you will naturally start thinking more frequently about how to quickly reset negative ideas and thought patterns. The truth is that these negative ideas have no value in place of the victorious vision that you are moving towards attaining. Out with the old and in with the new.

Steve Furtick of Elevation Church recently spoke on a topic, ‘This isn’t Working‘ and referred to ways our mind can be freed from negative thinking. Steve has 20,000 in attendance weekly and is a fast growing church with many campuses. What is more is that he has a heart for people of all cultures and really’ speaks the heart language ‘of each person.

Steve said that sometimes we can prefer a negative mindset that we are comfortable with instead of a liberating mindset that is initially uncomfortable. Moreover, he said in contrast that we can use our present day circumstances as a way of freeing us from from a system of oppressive thinking that we have tangled ourselves up in. Think about that for a second.

What kind of system could we be involved in when it comes to our patterns of thinking? Could we be admitting defeat before we reach the finish line in tasks? Could we be refusing the available supports we need because we want to take the credit for successes? Or could we be continuously ashamed for doing our best because there is always someone who can do it better?

There is virtually no limit to the types of negative thinking people can have because we can always envision a path of partial success without complete victory. However, when we surrender our mind to a better pathway that has complete victory on it, we might be surprised at the change and the reset that takes place inside of us.

So, once again I want to ask about that reset button we all have. Is it simply gratitude for what we have and an openness to let our life circumstances correct any systems of faulty thinking that we have become familiar or even dependent upon?

The answer is yes.

• Gratitude makes us better: Initiating a Reset in my way of thinking.
• Gratitude helps us correctly see needs: Deepening a Reset in my way of thinking.
• Gratitude helps us help others: Making a Lifestyle from a Reset in my way of thinking.

And as we keep practicing this, it becomes habit and then second nature. In other words, by maintaining a consistency about showing gratitude every day, we can alter our lifestyle in a positive way for the future.

Finally, you may be asking yourself why you cannot find your own reset button. The answer is simple. Get out your pad or tablet or phone and number the things you are grateful for. Five is just a number. So is ten, fifteen, thirty, fifty and one hundred. There is no limit to how much gratitude you can have. Also, you won’t find a person who comes up to you and complains about how grateful you are!

Instead, as you lift your eyes towards becoming more and more grateful, your personal reset button will certainly appear and be available for you to press (and press again, and again). Think of the amount of gratitude required each day as being a function of how big of a reset you want to undergo. A small amount of gratitude, a small reset. A larger amount, a larger reset. A gigantic amount, an even bigger reset. And so on.

Once again, there is no limit to how grateful you can be — and no one will find fault in you for having gratitude and also for continually applying resets in your way of thinking. After all, gratitude when it is displayed continuously is a virtue and a needed character quality. In fact, when people see this in you more and more, they will want it for themselves as well because it is something they need too.

Resetting our life is not just a one-time practice, but it can become a daily habit and ultimately a new lifestyle. Wow, now that is a healthy reset of our thinking when it leads to a new and healthy lifestyle!

And it is just what your doctor would have ordered.

Dr. Jonathan Doll is a former Huffington Post blogger on topics including school violence prevention, student well-being, and wellness. Dr. Doll wrote the book, Ending School Shootings, School and District Tools for Prevention and Action (2015). He has worked at the school, district, regional, state, and international levels in both K-12 education and higher education, and is from the Buffalo, New York region. His passion is to see teachers be successful in their work and then have student success grow and grow.