Where life is lost (& found)
One of the most disturbing questions I have ever faced was a girl asking, "Dr. Noufal, how long one can take to mend relationships?" She had a fight with a friend and wanted to know how long before she overdoes it.
I told her, "minimum time, I don't know, though never more than 20 hours."
She was puzzled and asked, "how come 20 hours, sir?"
Well, even I didn't know before 2011.
***
During graduation, I had a friend, she was very close to me. I have asked myself who she is for me and I get the answer, "she was, well, me." Those times, I was not the talkative one, not with her either. But she knew me; I would look at her and I know she knew. When my jaws twitch in anger, fist clenched in frustration, she would hold it; ever so light as a feather. And I knew, it would be fine. At times, she would offer me her book and pen so that I scribble my anger. And I knew.
After graduation, I joined PG and she stayed back home. It was towards the end of the first year. I was in one of those moody days. One day she called, she was happy, I knew; she wanted to tell me something, I knew; but I told her I will call back (The rule between us was that if I am in a bad mood, she waits till I call back). Five minutes later she called again. She really wanted to say something! And I am sure that it would have been something stupid. Maybe some eggs have hatched at home, or the new dupatta she bought is awesome, or she made mango chutney. Silly, it would have been.
I was furious. I told her, "don't you remember our rule? Wait till I call," and disconnected.
About 20 hours later, while walking towards the hostel, my friend only told me, "Noufal, did you hear? ..."
She was gone. Can you ever think of how big a loss a silly thing can be? A hundred thousand times I would have asked myself, "What was it that she wanted to tell me?" Nope, I can't know it. I will never know it. And to think. it was not even a big fight. I really didn't know.
***
I just wanted to remind myself:
The biggest mistake we make is believing that we have time. We only have a moment. Literally a moment. I wish I remembered this more often.
Sincerely,
Dr. Noufal Hameed
Senior Manager - Corporate Communications
3 年Whenever I do any mistake, which I do on regular basis, I don't know why I come back to this post. I read it almost everyday to remind myself that how precious is every moment.
Associate Analyst- HR Operations
3 年How easy/ difficult was mending this mistake for you sir? Do you think you have learnt from it and changed significantly for the better?
Clinical Psychologist @UM-DAE (Govt.)| RANK 1 | Visiting faculty| Freelancing
3 年Oh my God.. This is sooo heartbreaking. Yet, thanks for sharing.