Where have all the tribes gone?

I’d like to bring up the subject of depression. Gosh, even the notion of the notion is depressing in and of itself. However, what I want to elaborate on is one of the prime factors, which I see as being a key contributor to our modern-day, viral spread of mental decay. For me, this issue really began with the simple question of, “What did early man have that modern-day human beings have lost touch with?”

When I sat back and thought about it the list was an ever-elongating stream of complaints and woes. I wound up in this Alice in Wonderland spiral to the point that if I wasn’t depressed before I surely felt I had become as such. However, I recognized that the most important concepts, which come out of questioning are not answers, rather they are questions themselves. And for me, the most important question that arose was simply, “Where have all the tribes gone?”

Ask any anthropologist or social historian, about early society. Each man and woman had a task or a series of tasks for which they were responsible to meet the demands of the day. Some hunted, some fished, some prepared food, cared for the children, made clothes, and to my mind, I assume all did something to earn their keep. They did so not only for their own benefit but also for the well being of the tribe. This, to some extent, could be argued to be the way in which human beings are “hardwired”.

Today many families do not live in close proximity, and must, therefore, create holograms of themselves in order to make the most of the time they have with their displaced “tribe” before having to return to their regular lives. Jokes are exchanged, chapters are brushed upon, and plans to reconvene are discussed for later exploration. To think that those we should naturally be closest to are in fact as much strangers as our school acquaintances is a haunting notion to be sure. And it is haunting for the very simple reason that every part of our typical, classic, nuclear family culture, our individual instincts, and understanding of the world, says that we should be close, beneficial resources for one another.

For years I’ve been interested in a ritual in Senegal described by a lecturer on psychology and author, Andrew Solomon, in which an entire village literally shuts down in order to convene together to remove “bad spirits” that plague a villager. In this ritual, known as an ndeup, the entire village comes to a complete halt for the wellbeing of an individual. It seems to be clear that in the West, this would be a very difficult feat to accomplish. In fact, it might even appear oxymoronically done at best in some cases. Attempting to suggest that we’re so close, when we feel so separate, and again putting on a supportive face, when this isn’t the norm.

Now, this is to no one family member’s fault, and may not even be to the fault of the entire unit! Being so separate and distant from one another can become costly, both in time and resources, and to use up both consistently to see one another is madness. We all have multifaceted lives, with our own children, friends, and parents to attend to, and to whom we must be supportive. However, seeing as we do have these rich alternatives for support, I’m still plagued with the question, “Where have all the tribes gone?”

Surely, in a culture where our friends become our allies, akin to family, we would come up with a way in which to support one another. Surely we could come up with a way to feel useful, and to be given a reason to feel as though we served, just as our ancestors would have done in their networks. Then the next question is, “Do we feel that we are of service, and if not, is this making us depressed?”

You know that sound? It’s blaring, it’s loud, it shakes you to your core, and sets off a panic instinct starting in your brain, radiating all throughout your body. What an intrusive thing it is… How is it that we deal with this every day? I’m speaking of course of our alarms, which wake the majority of us up for a job in which we are unfulfilled, unhappy, and wholly disengaged.

It has often been said that if you know your “why” for waking up then an alarm clock is supplemental. Of course, I’m paraphrasing here… Often times truly successful and “happy” people claim they wake before or with their alarm clocks and aren’t intruded by their incessant wailing. However, it is not simply the knowledge of your reason for waking which causes one to wake readily, but feeling a compulsion, as deep as desire, towards that reason.

If it were simply a matter of waking up to go to work, to make money, then we would all wake up chipper as could be, and go about our days. Unburdened by anything the ego or external factors might try to do to bring us down from on high. But it’s not. Our day-to-day has a long-term goal in mind, and a very real sense of relative deprivation until we achieve it.

To my mind it seems clear that we are waking up day after day, being told that we must chase our dreams, while our entire experience appears to be that we are engaged in the opposite line of behavior. Many of us digest self-help materials, only to bolster the fact that those around us do not equate to resources that we need. In fact, much of the self-help literature and audio recordings that one will find, suggest that our families and friends are usually not those whom we’ll find a supportive hand, especially when we desire to do something novel or eccentric. And although for many this is not the case, for others it truly is.

In a tribe world, our passions, or at least our goals, are set for us. However, we no longer live in the tribe world that our brain is still wired to live in. I will not be a Marketer, a Banker, or a myriad of the things my father was before me. These are professions, not trades, and unless my interests become peaked in these areas, I can’t expect to ring my parents out like sponges for information and experience they can’t share related to my ambitions. I have to make my own way in a world where everyone must make his own way. After all, we live in a world where a shoemaker’s son does not have to be a shoemaker. Rather he can be anything he wishes to be.

In a lot of ways, this is really amazing when you think about it. Never before recent history has there been a time that we could go and do and be anything that we wanted with such flexibility! However, there is a catch. No one is likely to just hear your desires or your plights and simply reach out a hand to pull you into the fold.

The days of automatic apprenticeships and their masterful guidance are over for the grand majority. We now live in the world of earned mentee-ship, and entrance into exclusive clubs. This has caused us to become more “me” focused than ever, and our current and next-generation may pay the cost for it.

On a separate note from depression, this could mean that those who could have been pivotal to innovation, or invention will never shine even a brief light if starting from a position in which they were not taught resourcefulness. And I mean true resourcefulness. The ability to go out and not find the endless, often empty, short-term gains, but to strike out on one’s own and to be able to identify those things which are truly valuable to success.

This “me” focused society keeps us so disconnected from one another, not just our extended family. More often than not we hope that we stumble upon a mentor who wants to stumble upon a student. We have to hope that someone will show up to guide us, to manage our expectations, and to push us to greater heights.

Unfortunately, I will not be an apprentice of my desired career until I’ve earned my way into said community, and neither will you. However, I’m left with a few more questions, “Couldn’t a tribe mentality speed up productivity? Wouldn’t a system built on automatic apprenticeship increase the rate of succession?” And first and foremost, “Where have all the tribes gone?”

Written by Michael Scott Olan

B.A. in Psychology, The University of Texas at Austin

In Pursuit of his Doctorate in Psychology

With a Desire to Help Others Excel, Evolve, and Excite