Responsibilities. Choices. Consequences. Where to from here?

It is a universal truth that we are all responsible for what we think, do, say and choose; this includes the fact that we are also responsible for the consequences of our choices. To put it bluntly, choices lead to consequences, for which the individual is responsible. This has been made most evident in research dealing with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), research undertaken by William Glasser, and Albert Bandura, and the associated wisdom and insights provided by many others.

?CBT is about changing thinking to change behaviours, and CBT is also about changing behaviours to change thinking. Judith Beck, writing in her book,?Cognitive behavior therapy basics and beyond,?affirms that “when people learn to [constructively] evaluate their thinking” [or their behaviour} “in a more realistic and adaptive way, [it is then that they will] experience improvement in their emotional state and in their behaviour.”

Then there is the Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) of Albert Ellis. Ellis places a great deal of emphasis on individual responsibilities and their accountability. As such Ellis informs that it is the individual who is responsible for their thinking and their behaviour. Consequently, the REBT Network states that “whenever we become upset, it is not the events taking place in our lives that upset us; [what upsets us] … is the beliefs [in response to these external events] that we hold that cause us to become depressed, anxious, enraged, etc.”

To counter these negative beliefs the individual must, with self-motivated determination, challenge these negative beliefs. It is when this self-directed thinking and self-motivated action takes place, that is when constructive cognitive and emotional changes can begin to take place in the life of the individual.

Added to this is the self-efficacy research of Albert Bandura. Bandura points out that self-belief is an extraordinarily powerful and self-empowering emotional construct which allows the individual to realise and to appreciate that they have immense power when they arrive at the realisation that it is the self who is in charge of their beliefs, their motivations, their thoughts, their behaviours, the choices they make, and the achievements they accomplish.

Further to this, self-efficacy is about a person’s belief in relation to their intrinsic capabilities to work towards and produce designated levels of performance that exerts influence over their thoughts and behaviours that affect their decisions, choices and the actions they take in their life. The principles pertaining to self-efficacy, will, according to Bandura “determine how people feel, think, motivate themselves and behave.”

Then there are the insights of Charles Popplestown, who declared: “You cannot always control circumstances, but you can control your own thoughts.” Further to this axiom pertaining to control, Brian Tracy writes: “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” Then there are the profound words of Mahatma Gandhi who proclaimed: “We must become the change we want to see.” Further to this The Dalai Lama decreed: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others, and if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

Then there is the research of William Glasser, psychiatrist, educationalist and the author of?Reality Therapy, Control Theory?and?Choice Theory.?In his book?Reality Therapy,?Glasser writes: “Waiting for attitudes to change stalls therapy whereas changing behavior leads quickly to a change in attitude, which in turn can lead to fulfilling needs and further better behavior.”

In?Choice Theory?Glasser informed that people have choices in what they decide to think, do or say. This suggests that no utterance, speech, talk, text, thought, behaviour or action on the part of the individual, can be presumed as having been caused by or resulting from any external situation or stimulus. No one can, for example, force a sentient adult to wear any form of clothing. With this in mind, Glasser argues that we all need to move away from the stimulus-response (s-r) idea about behaviour; that is, the premise that an external stimulus is the total cause of a specific behaviour that will inevitably lead to an automatic response on the part of the individual. According to Glasser, this is not the case at all; as such, Glasser maintains that almost all behaviours are chosen.

Further to the concept of stimulus-response and choices, are the deep insights of Viktor Frankl. Frankl lived for a time under impossible circumstances. He is the author of the book:?Man's Search for Meaning.?Living under these impossible circumstances Frankl declared the following: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

As a concluding consideration, there are the authoritative insights of President Jimmy Carter: “A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm, thoughtful, and restrained. It can afford to extend a helping hand to others. It’s a weak nation, like a weak person, that must behave with bluster and boasting and rashness and other signs of insecurity.”

In conclusion note the following:

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

(Anonymous).

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