Where to find your sh*t after you lose it?-?reclaiming the tumultuous parts of?ourselves

15 life skills for when you’re losing your sh*t (or already lost?it).

“I’m losing my?sh*t!”

These four words evoke an all-too-familiar feeling. We’ve all been there: pushed to the edge of our emotional limits, hanging precariously on the verge of losing control. We find ourselves caught in the quicksand of mounting pressure, where emotions run wild, and yes, we sometimes lose our sh*t.

But where does this elusive "sh*t" go when we lose it? Is there a limbo for lost sh*t, like a cosmic, ethereal lost & found box where mislaid tempers and long-forgotten patience await retrieval? My question might seem satirical, even amusing, but the essence of it is quite serious.

In this article, I want to navigate with you inside the fascinating corridors of human psychology, attempting to decode the phenomenon of losing our sh*t. More importantly, I want to provide you with a roadmap, a guide if you will, to help you find your lost sh*t and prevent its disappearance in the future.

What does it mean to lose our?sh*t?

The phrase “losing our sh*t” signifies an emotional eruption, at least on the surface, but the underlying psychology is far more intricate and multifaceted.

The act of losing one’s sh*t is a tipping point, a critical juncture where our coping mechanisms are overwhelmed, and our emotional control is compromised. This impulsive reaction is also a culmination of persisting stressors and triggers that exceed our capacity to manage. As a result, the facade of composed rationality crumbles, and raw, uncontrolled emotion spills forth.

The human brain is a masterpiece, capable of profound thought and complex emotional processing. Yet, it is also governed by primal instinct, etched into our DNA over millennia. When we lose our sh*t, we are essentially caught in the crossfire of this duality?—?the primal, reactionary parts of our brain clashing with the more advanced, rational components.

At the heart of this phenomenon lies the amygdala, our brain’s emotional sentinel. In response to stress, the amygdala sounds an alarm, triggering a cascade of physiological responses. These include a pounding heart, rapid breathing, and adrenaline rush. This is the famed fight-or-flight response, a survival mechanism honed by our ancestors. When we lose our sh*t, it’s an erroneous trigger of this fight-or-flight response, a false alarm that puts our body and mind in a state of heightened emotional reactivity.

Healthline refers to this as an “Amygdala Hijack”.

https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/amygdala-hijack

In essence, losing one’s sh*t is a moment of emotional hijacking. It’s when rational thought is overshadowed by raw emotion, leading to reactions we often regret later. Understanding this intricate interplay between our cognitive and emotional selves is crucial. It underscores the importance of emotional intelligence, recognizing our emotions and reactions, and more importantly, managing them.

It’s also worth noting that losing one’s sh*t isn’t inherently bad. Yes, it’s disruptive, uncomfortable, even embarrassing. But it’s also profoundly human. It exposes our vulnerabilities and our emotional thresholds. It’s a potent signal that our emotional well-being is off balance and needs attention.

The key lies in learning from these moments, acknowledging our triggers, understanding our emotional landscape, and most importantly, developing the skills and strategies to navigate this complex terrain. Only then can we effectively reclaim our lost sh*t and maintain our emotional equilibrium in the face of life’s stressors.

Where does our lost sh*t go?

So, where does our lost sh*t go? It’s an abstract concept, of course. The idea of “losing one’s sh*t” is metaphorical, signifying a state of disarray, a loss of control over our emotional selves. But let’s entertain the thought for a moment — if our sh*t had a GPS tracker on it, where would we find it?

Imagine yourself in a vast open sea, where each wave is a turbulent emotion.

Anger, frustration, despair, all jostling for space, creating a whirlpool of emotional chaos. When we lose our sh*t, it’s like a drop of water returning to this tumultuous sea. It disappears into the mass of swirling emotions, swallowed up by the waves. This is figuratively where our sh*t goes — not lost, but rather dispersed and diluted in this ocean of emotional turmoil.

But remember, every drop that goes in, goes in with its own GPS coordinates and can also be reclaimed, distilled, and brought back under our control. This is where life advice, tips, strategies, and emotional techniques come into play.

I’ll get to those momentarily, but first, let me share a story.

Witnessing someone lose their sh*t

I took my family to a local, busy restaurant a few days ago. The hustle and bustle of the evening dinner rush was in full swing. Amid the clatter of cups, silverware, and the low hum of conversation, I noticed a man sitting alone at a corner table. He was on the phone, his conversation growing increasingly heated.

His voice rose steadily. You could see the tension mounting simply in his body language, the strain evident on his face. His hands, clenched tightly around his phone, trembled slightly. And then, he lost his sh*t. His voice shattered the casual murmur of the restaurant, raw anger pouring out in a stream of profane words that made everyone within earshot wince. My kids heard some new words that day lol. ??

The emotional carnage was evident. Figuratively, he had returned to the tumultuous sea, his self-control diluted into the waves of anger and frustration.

I remember feeling a mixture of emotions myself. Shock, certainly. A bit of fear, maybe. Sadness too, not knowing the full extent of his troubles. I felt bad. Here was a man who had lost his sh*t, his emotional distress broadcast for everyone to see. The restaurant went eerily quiet as he ended his call, the silence echoing the emotional void he was likely feeling. He promptly left.

It was a powerful, unsettling moment. We didn’t know the full extent of the problem, but it reminded us how important it is to understand our triggers and implement strategies that help us navigate the sea of emotions.

To ensure we can maintain control, even when we’re on the brink, we have the tools to avoid losing our sh*t. Or, at the very least, to find it again.

The 15 skills we can learn to reclaim our lost sh*t or stop us from losing it altogether

Having pondered this for a while since that incident, I’ve come up with 15 effective strategies to get your sh*t back on track:

1. Understanding the trigger: This is our starting point. Understanding what triggers your emotional response is vital. Look for patterns in your behavior. Is it due to work-related stress? Family issues? Pinpoint these triggers, and you’ve already begun the journey back.
2. Mindfulness: Ah, mindfulness, the current buzzword in the world of all writing about human psychology haha! But it’s true! The power to be in the moment, to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, is an invaluable tool for managing your emotional well-being.
3. Breathing exercises: Sounds simple? That’s because it is! Deep, controlled breathing exercises are one of the easiest and quickest ways to calm your mind, reducing the likelihood of losing your sh*t. My favorite technique is the 4–7–8 breathing method.
4. Physical exercise: Move your body! Engaging in regular physical activity releases endorphins, those handy little neurotransmitters that help reduce stress and anxiety. Plus, they make you feel happier!
5. Healthy diet: This one might surprise you, but research suggests that a healthy diet, especially one rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, can help regulate our emotional responses.
6. Adequate sleep: It’s simple. Lack of sleep equals more stress, which equals losing your sh*t. Make sure you’re getting enough Z’s.
7. Emotional expression: Keeping your emotions bottled up is a surefire way to lose your sh*t. Express them! Talk to a friend, a loved one, or a professional.
8. Laughter: They weren’t kidding when they said laughter is the best medicine. A good, hearty laugh can do wonders for our emotional well-being.
9. Hobbies: Indulging in activities you enjoy can be a great distraction from the stressors that cause you to lose your sh*t. They offer an outlet for expressing your emotions and reducing anxiety.
10. Meditation or personal prayer: This age-old practice helps train our minds to focus, promoting mental clarity and emotional calm.
11. Emotional intelligence: Understanding and managing your emotions can prevent you from losing your sh*t. It’s a skill, and like all skills, it can be developed.
12. Boundaries: It’s okay to say no. Creating and maintaining boundaries in your work relationships and personal life can help manage stress levels.
13. Gratitude: Recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of your life can help you keep your sh*t together, no matter how tough things get. Write down 3 things you’re grateful for each night before you go to bed.
14. Therapy: Sometimes, it’s necessary to call in the professionals. Therapists are trained to help us understand and manage our emotions. No shame. Go. Talk to a therapist.
15. Resilience: Building your resilience to stress and adverse situations is like creating an emotional buffer. It’s your shield, your fortress that prevents you from losing your sh*t.

Get your sh*t together

It’s okay to lose your sh*t once in a while. We’re all human. I’m still working on this as a parent, husband, employee, son, brother, friend, and local motorist on the busy streets ??. When we lose our sh*t, however, we’re not losing it to the abyss — it’s not all lost. Rather, we’re surrendering it to the vast sea of human emotions and you can rescue it from this place. Your lost sh*t has a GPS coordinate and you can recover it.

It’s a process deeply intertwined with our primitive instincts, survival mechanisms, and cognitive-emotional duality. Your lost sh*t is not irretrievable. It lies within your reach, ready to be reclaimed through recognition, understanding, and strategic emotional management.

Losing your sh*t is not a defeat. See it as an opportunity to introspect, learn, and grow stronger. The next time you feel you’re on the brink, remember, you have the power to either prevent the loss or navigate the tumultuous sea to find your lost sh*t and keep it together.

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Thanks for reading!

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This article was originally published on Medium.