Where the duck is Kate Middleton?

Hi There,

If you’re anything like me, you’ve become increasingly unhinged in your speculation of what’s going on with Kate Middleton.

And no, yesterday's report, of locals seeing but not taking pictures of her hasn't put this story to bed for me.

As someone who has not thought about the Princess of Wales since her Royal Wedding, I’ve still managed to be pulled down the TikTok rabbit hole of conjecture - why the terrible photoshopped family photo followed by bizarre social media statement when she’s known to be a well known photographer? why wouldn’t she make a brief appearance months after her surgery when she’s known to do so hours after giving birth? is this a serious health crisis? is it something else entirely?

When I come up for air and am more grounded more in my right mind, I remember that I don’t know her at all, don’t care much for the royal family and, from one buman being to another, just wish her peace and safety. My logical brain says to leave it alone.

But it’s so easy to get swept up in the darker conspiracy. To the point that just yesterday, I confidently told a friend, while touring the New York Times newsroom of all places, that this is much more than abdominal surgery and is the unraveling of the royal family as we know it.

Dramatic, much?

In the midst of this global ruminating about the whereabouts of Kate, a familiar theme emerged in my conversations with clients this week:

WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?!

• What will people think about me being between roles and, currently, out of work?
• What will people think about me pursuing a different path than what I was on?
• What will people think in me asking for help?

Unless you’re Kate Middleton, the answer is simple: most won’t. The world isn’t thinking about you - they are thinking about themselves…and well, Kate Middleton. Those that do think about it that matter will be impressed, inspired and willing to help. Those that have any kind of negative reaction are projecting their own insecurities about themselves.

But, similar to KateGate - we assume the worst and we look for validation that our negative thoughts are true. Let’s stop that and dig in….

Clarify ??

From personal experience, it’s really easy to live your life based on what you think other people think about you when you yourself don’t really know who you are. Around my 30th birthday, the noise about ‘what will people think?’ got so much quieter - I don’t credit it to one thing but rather a combination of realizing NO ONE really knows what their doing - we’re all winging it - and that you actually really like who you’re becoming. To like who you’re becoming requires you to spend time with who you’re becoming.

Now this is really easy when you’re at peace with who you are and the life you’re living. Now, I love alone time and regularly take myself on what Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way calls The Artist’s Date - basically, dedicated solo time every week to explore your creative side (a walk without music, visiting an art gallery, listening to music or taking in a performance, etc).

But spending time alone suuuuucks if you’re not happy with yourself. I’ve been there too. Without the distraction of someone else or even a TV show in the background, you’re forced to confront your negative thoughts, regrets and anxieties - all of your demons.

If this is where you’re starting in your journey to self discovery, I’m a big advocate for intentional alone time. Alone time without intention, when in that headspace, could further that spiral.

So to be intentional with your alone time - name a purpose for whatever you’re doing with yourself. One of my favorite places to start is to get clear on your values

Connect ??

But don’t allow defining your goals to be something you spend a Sunday afternoon on and forget.

I encourage you to connect your values to everyday actions.

Your values can become a filter to what you say yes and no to, what you go after and your vision for how you want your life to be.

By getting clear on your values, whether you mean to or not, you’ll start to prioritize those in your life with aligned values and spend less time with those who values don’t aling.

In the past few years, this has been my guiding light for friendships I cultivate or step away from and, although that’s difficult, the noise of “what will people think?” becomes less and less. By clarifying your values and aligning your inner circle accordingly, negativity and judgement fades out of your day to day and, alongside it, the constant wondering of what people think of you.

Confidently Communicate ???

The storylines that we create about ourselves in our minds are usually far more negative and far off from reality. ((Hopefully, this is also the case with our Kate conspiracies))

We often search for validation that whatever negative storyline we’ve bought into is true.

The best way to combat confirmation bias? Get out of your damn head and talk it our.

My clients work with me to set them straight - as much as I teach strategy and open up my network, I also partner with clients to combat their limiting beliefs and challenge them on mindsets that don’t serve them in stepping into a more aligned and abundant next career step.

If you’re job searching, the most common fears I help people conquer include:

• shame of being open about wherever you are in your search and tapping into network
• anxiety in telling your story and crafting a career narrative you’re confident in
• fear of rejection and not finding what you’re looking for

Beyond working with me, I encourage you to just talk with someone in your life that is supportive yet will call you on your sh*t and well, open up about those fears.

Until next week!

Jess Storiale