Where Does Your Identity Come From?

To be chided twice in the space of a week can be unsettling. But in my twin professions of Management Consultant and Executive Coach, I found it rewarding.

The first was with the Delivery Head of an IT Services company who was telling us about using the CIO’s office to understand the business issues of the company. Why the CIO? Because the CIO is the one person who understands the technical details of our proposal, I was told. Given the huge possibilities in transforming the relationship with the marketplaces the customer operated in, it was obvious that a very small part of the real business problem was being addressed in the discussions between the CIO and the Service provider company. I pointed out that they must get the CMO actively engaged in the discussions, or, as I see it, they are leaving precious money on the customer’s table.

The Delivery Head was riled. He turned away from the white board, put the pen carefully down, and said, “Ramesh, you can certainly have your opinion. But we are making a lot of money this way. We are successful. I don’t want to change what we are doing.” Then, an edge got added to his voice as he continued, “I really don’t have time for this. I have another meeting in 20 minutes. Can I finish this?” I let him finish that. 

It was startling to see how much of himself he revealed, in that rejection. That Technology vendors need to talk more to the Business people, and therefore necessarily acquire the business acumen to conduct intelligent business conversations at their customer places is clearly a no-brainer. That is what the techies probably want to do, once they can free themselves from the seductive arms of Technology. The frustration shows.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in disdain, says: “Admiration for a quality or an art can be so strong that it deters from striving to possess it.”

And then it happened again. This time in a Coaching session. I was talking to this executive who was drunk on his success because he had all the rewards, and a moniker of “Chief Problem Solver” to top that. The bosses loved him, and the corridors lit up with the team members’ admiration, every time he walked by. What more can you ask for?

He obviously revelled in this position. Could he have been a builder, rather than a fire-fighter? Given his obvious brilliance, is it possible that he is being side-lined to make a career in fighting fires, while lesser competent peers push ahead to run lucrative projects and head large teams? Are people so intimidated by the aggressive brilliance he brings to problem solving that they do not want him in any ‘peace time’ pursuits?

He was so happy with what he was that he found my ‘searching’ questions to be an affront, an insult to his intelligence and capabilities. Starting with his IIT degree, he gave me a huge list of his achievements, and how no one can demean him this way. He knows what he is doing, I was told, and so can I keep such opinionated doubts to myself?

Maybe I am biased here, in agreement with Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.”

But, I can swear that even as the two gentlemen rejected my suggestions, they were certainly worked up, unhappy, disturbed and it showed in the raised tones they used to dismiss me, my questions and my views.

All ‘non-routine’ events push me to learn something from them. Here’s my take-away.

 Every Collective gives an identity to the Individual.

The Corporation as a Collective is well recognised and weighed heavy on the Delivery Head. Peer opinions and organisational praise/recognition can be a powerful Collective that not only gives an identity to the Individual, but also a halo as a bonus to go along with it. 

Isn’t shining beyond the identity bestowed by the Collective the true hallmark of a ‘special’ Individual?