Where do I stand?

In each moment of leadership, the leader needs to watch only 2 things:

• everything you do and
• everything you say.

There’s no pressure!

Where and how you stand, literally and figuratively, is a big part of the you message.

But the temptation is to see this as how you appear, rather than who you are.

Much of the literature about body language tells us how to exert power in a business situation. I think that his is the wrong line of inquiry. Leadership is about influence. It’s about win-win, not about win at all costs. It’s about humility and connecting with people, for influence and sound decision-making—not about dominance.

Entrepreneur and philosopher Alan Cohen said:

Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good.

Where and how you stand comes from the inside—the authenticity of you. This will become evident when you:

1. Speak persuasively about the things that matter. The leader chooses what is right over popularity. In fact, the leader has the courage to stand alone—waiting to see which way the wind blows before speaking up is craven. The leader will shape, not follow, public opinion.
2. Smile—spontaneously. Most people will see this as an act of acceptance and will respond in kind. They will be at ease and willing to share their concerns and ideas—the crucial conversation becomes possible. But smiling too much may be interpreted as politeness (passive aggression).
3. Listen. We learn most when we ask questions and are quiet and attentive in response. Peter Drucker said: “The most important and difficult job is never to find the right answers, it is to find the right questions.” And use silence, with eye contact.
4. Make appropriate physical contact. In most situations and regardless of gender, a firm handshake and later, contact of shoulder, back or elbow, conveys confidence and acceptance. Anything more is cheesey in the business situation. However, in some cultures this is not acceptable—do your homework.
5. Keep your hands visible and open. Behind your back indicates arrogance—I am inspecting you! Putting them in your pockets is never a good look. Folding them or holding them in front of your crotch is defensive. When speaking publicly, keep them at or above your waist.
6. Stand still—relaxed, open and front-on. And keep your head still and mostly aligned with your body. Excessive tilting is submissive—definitely not for equals. Bobbing the head is likewise. Shifting from foot to foot will unsettle the other party and disrupt communication.
7. Maintain eye contact, which mostly means interest and sincerity. Darting eyes will certainly destroy any conversation. But here is another rider—in some cultures, deference is expressed by looking down—what we may interpret as disrespect is in fact the opposite. Again, do your homework.
8. Are well groomed. Your physical appearance sends powerful signs because it points to your self-respect and your respect for others. How do you respond to someone who looks healthy, fit and well-groomed, right down to clean hands and trimmed fingernails? It’s the same for everyone.
9. Use an expressive and well-modulated voice. Rex Tillerson can tell you it works beautifully, but not always. A high pitch causes others to turn off their attention and move away. A monotone will send them to sleep. Neither is conducive to great communication and understanding.
10. Observe with interest—what was that person wearing? Those genuinely in dialogue will be focused on how the other person presents themselves, how they look, their mannerisms and facial expressions—being signal aware. This shows curiosity, which in my world is a core value.

The final piece of Where do I stand? As the leader you will know everyone by sight and by name, if that is humanely possible. If not, you will go to great lengths to be among and to support your people at every opportunity—especially when the going gets tough.

You will physically and metaphorically reach out to everyone.

Next week: Every medicine has its side-effects

About the Author

Jeff Bell is Principal of executive consultancy ResultsWise in Perth, Western Australia. He is also a coach at The Executive Connection, a division of the world’s largest CEO network, Vistage, which increases the effectiveness and enhances the lives of its 22,000 leader members around the world.

To take your leadership to a new level, ask Jeff about TEC, coaching or join his facilitated course: https://www.resultswise.com.au/leader-as-coach-program