Where do I find meaning in life?

There’s a real pandemic out there – one of meaning.

The core of it – we’re ever more connected technologically but have never been more disconnected on a human level or from real life. But here’s the deal, there’s no replacement for real connection with people, reality or nature. The substance of life is in reality, and this is where meaning is found too.

There are a lot of contributing factors to our disconnect, of course. The rapidly changing world around us which is disorienting, neo-liberalism eating at our souls, loss of values as anchors of what is right, too many possibilities which is confusing, superficiality and commerciality of culture and really just about anything in our lives today, consumerism, to name a few.

Logotherapy, from logos-meaning and therapy, lends itself to offering cures when it comes to meaning, as the name implies. If you, too find yourself in an existential crisis and feel disconnected, here’s where you can look to find meaning in life.

Self-knowledge

In my humble opinion, self-knowledge along with self-transcendence, lie at the core of a meaningful life. Socrates allegedly once said that the unexamined life is not worth living. I would rephrase that to say that by understanding yourself and your life by extension, you can find something worth living for. To create a fulfilling life, you need to understand what feels personally meaningful filling it with, and that’s down to who you are. Your values, your views, your personality, your struggles, your gifts, your interests, etc. etc.

Uniqueness

People don’t usually understand the value they represent to others by simply being themselves. We don’t tell others what their mere presence in our lives brings us – maybe it’s their unique sense of humour, that they make us feel heard or simply their calming presence. When you think about the important people in your life, you start to see that each is utterly irreplaceable. No one is quite like any other. Neither are you. It’s fun to discover what you bring to others like no one else can - by just being yourself. Maybe that’s something you can bring to the larger world out there and make a difference?

Self-transcendence

Seeking meaning is at the core of human nature. Maybe it’s our capacity for consciousness and self-awareness that propels us to need it for our very motivation for life, who knows. ?We go around doing, dreaming, achieving, and we believe we do it to find happiness, but that’s only partly true. The reality is we have a deep impulse to make sense of an existence we don’t understand. And there’s only one place we find that satisfaction for that urge – others. If you were the last person on Earth, you won’t be bothered to go after anything, not even survival most probably. Because what for? Or better said, who for? There’s no one to care for and there’s no one who cares for you. Going beyond your self-interest and seeking how you can be of help ?- whether through meaningful work or volunteering or helping people or causes you encounter– brings life into your life. Because it brings meaning at its best.

Choices

Often times a sense of meaninglessness sets in when we feel like a victim when we are in a situation where we feel we have no agency, no choice, helpless. The truth is, there are not many situations in life when we truly are, but perception is reality. Whenever you feel that way, it’s useful to sit down and create an extensive list of all courses of action that may change the situation you are in – even the absurd, the crazy and very difficult ones. When you do, you realise you do have choices, and many, usually. This brings a renewed sense of meaning. And if you happen to be in a situation where things are truly completely out of your hands (loss of a loved one or imprisonment), it’s worth remembering that attitude, too is a choice and one you have complete control over.

Responsibility

This one relates to self-transcendence in a way. If you only pursue what you want without regard for others, the environment, and the world beyond you, you directly or indirectly cause suffering that catches up with you eventually. When making decisions, finding a balance between self-interest and a decision that feels responsible (one that takes into account all of your values) is always the better course of action.

Equally important, according to Viktor Frankl, the founder of Logotherapy, is learning not to feel responsible in situations where you shouldn’t.

Example – your parents’ disappointment that you didn’t become a lawyer as they had always hoped. It is not your responsibility to meet other people’s expectations about your life, be it even your parents'.

Your life is yours for a reason.

Then the question becomes – how do you tell the difference?

The answer: through maturity and, more specifically, through understanding the thin line between responsibility towards yourself and responsibility towards others – there is a place for each but each is equally important.

This creates a healthy balance for a sane mind.

#meaning #logotherapy #findmeaning #viktorfrankl