Where do I belong?

Thursday, February 24, 2022.? Looking back three months later, this date stands out for two reasons. The first reason is personal:? I had the pleasure and honor to share a lunch table with two geniuses in leadership training, Conor Neill and Kris Girrell. Then the other reason is quite obvious: A war in Europe in the XXI century broke out not so far away.

Global nomads and a question of belonging

Before we took this picture on the rooftop terrace of the IESE business school in Barcelona, Spain, we shared a delicious lunch together and an even more delicious conversation. Our compound curiosity was insatiable. We talked about a variety of subjects including time in the quantum world, the impossibility of translating some words into other languages, the ingenuity of old Native American communication systems, and some exciting feedback on new chalet type venues for leadership development programs.?

While discussing our global way of living, the conversation culminated with this poignant question: "where do you belong?" One of the things we have in common is being global nomads in our own unique ways: an American man traveling around the world for work and leisure with his half Christian and half Jewish family (plus a steady stream of? German exchange students), an Irish man with an American educational background living and teaching in Spain, and a Japanese woman settled down in Spain with her French family, but mostly working in English.??

It’s easy to forget where you belong when you live this kind of international life like us. But a sense of belonging is one of the keys for our mental wellbeing as human beings. I often questioned if I felt a stronger sense of belonging in my country of origin, Japan, or my country of residence, Spain. As much as I feel comfortable, accepted, and integrated in Spain, I cannot deny the Japanese operating system inside me. Our emotions are defined by our native language and culture, even long after we’ve moved away. The tricky thing, though, is that that operating system is mostly subconscious and makes us feel that we don’t belong to our native country anymore after living away for long enough.?

Opting in to or out of belonging to your country??

Because of the nature of my work, I have many friends and colleagues both in Russia and Ukraine. The recent escalation of the Russo-Ukrainian war was an unfortunate event, and I’m seeing people on both sides suffering as human beings. Some of my Russian friends try to distance themselves by saying that they are not their country, nor their government. They are being thrown into a difficult situation where they don't agree with or approve of what the government is or will be doing, but they fear for their own or family’s safety if they express this honestly and freely. They are opting out of belonging to their country. Is that even possible??

So, where do I truly belong??

I was asked the question "where do you belong?" in a livestreamed interview about a year ago.? I didn't know how to answer that while I was streaming live without a script. After the interview, I pondered that question for a long time until one day, I finally found the answer. It was from an interview with Brené Brown where she talks about a line from a poem by the legendary Maya Angelou:

The answer is that I belong to myself. Nothing else, nobody else. No nation, no city, no culture, nobody but myself. Where I am is my home. And operating from this place means freedom and liberation. I always get to come back to myself and my internal temple. That’s my place to be, my home, and where I belong.??

When I truly belong to myself, I belong everywhere and nowhere. Let me try to explain:? I get to find alignment and choose to belong to different places freely without compromising what’s important to me or my values.? When alignment is or becomes impossible, I can choose to opt out freely, since I belong to myself. There’s no need to belong to a place that I can only belong to by sacrificing my true self. This creates the ultimate freedom to belong to every place and no place.??

If this is true, I appreciate my friends who opt out of the societies and communities they are in. They belong to themselves, not their country, culture, or society they physically are. Also, this gives them the freedom to act how they want within those places.? They are the only ones who dictate how they pursue belonging to themselves. I pass no judgments and have no expectations beyond people choosing their truths, and instead aim for true understanding, human to human, heart to heart.?

In this difficult time for the world, I choose peace. I choose a pen and my voice rather than arms. I choose to stand by and for people with whatever cultural background or nationalities they have. And I choose to belong to myself, wherever I am.

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Yuka Nakasone - Chief Strategist at Global Bridge. With over 30 years of experience in international business, Yuka helps SMEs in the retail industry including retailers, distributors, and retail technology companies to optimize their global operations and grow internationally with digitization and localization through her consultancy company, Global Bridge. Born and raised in Japan, she started her globalization career in Boston, MA, USA, and now enjoys a borderless life with her own small Franco-Japanese family on the Mediterranean coast near Barcelona, Spain.

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