Where to Begin?

When faced with a number of more or less challenging tasks, should we start with the easy ones or tackle the most difficult ones first? If we start with the easy tasks, we might get tired or take too long before getting to the hard ones, even if they are more important. Conversely, if we start with the hardest, we might get stuck and give up, or might take so much time that we leave other, more doable matters, untouched.

Similarly, when approaching a multi-issue conflict, should we negotiate the most intractable issues first? Does it make sense to agree upon minor issues only to go back to square one because we couldn’t resolve the big ones. At the same time, we might have an easier time dealing with the most difficult issues if we’ve gotten to know each other by negotiating the easier ones first. It might feel encouraging for us to practice notching some wins upon our belts and increase our confidence and resolve when we approach the tough areas of contention.

Like many questions, this one has no simple answer, though different people prefer one method over the other. Some of us get too anxious leaving the hard tasks or intractable differences to the end and try instead to take matters head-on, toughing it out from the outset with the hope that things will get easier over time. If we do get stumped by too tough an issue right away, we console ourselves by noting that at least we didn’t waste a lot of time before we found out matters were hopeless.

Others of us get overwhelmed when faced with the impossible task or insurmountable conflict at the beginning and prefer to get some small wins out of the way to feel some progress and lift our spirits before trying to get our arms around the tougher ones. We love to cross things off of our checklists, and the more items we’ve put behind us, the more confident we feel moving forward.

Of course, there are other methods as well. We could decide to address matters in chronological order, based on when they came to our attention, or by priority, based on when they are due. We could pick an arbitrary rule, such as alphabetical order, or simply throw darts at our list and let random selection decide the order.

Ultimately, every one of these approaches could work, and yet they might also equally fail. To tackle multiple issues, we might instead want to adopt a flexible approach, based on the specific nature of the matters at hand, our priorities in the situation, the preferences of our partners, our mood or mindset, and other factors. We could also try one method, assess our success, and possibly choose a different approach, if we don’t like the results. By being purposeful and flexible rather than dogmatic, we are likely to be more successful in a variety of situations and more resilient in the face of adversity.