When you're running low on spoons

If you're not familiar with spoon theory, it's great visual way of explaining that we all start out with a certain amount of energy in a given day (represented by the spoons) and that just like the spoons in your kitchen drawer, once they're gone, they're gone ... at least for a while. For anyone with chronic illnesses, disabilities, mental health issues, structural and societal disadvantages, or other consistent issues, they're starting off every day with fewer than average spoons already.

Spoon theory also says that any given activity -- getting out of bed, walking the dog, talking on the phone, paying a bill, etc. -- can take one spoon one day and ten the next. It's not a consistent value for each activity, but a measure of how much physical, mental, and emotional effort is required to get through any particular activity.

Measuring your wellbeing in "spoons" can also be a really helpful way of talking to people who don't have the same struggles and might otherwise have a hard time understanding what it's like to wake up one day and just have every simple thing feel big and difficult.

What does this have to do with me?

I've been operating with fewer spoons lately. We're approaching the two-year anniversary of my Dad's death. We just passed the second time we've acknowledged his birthday without him here. Things at work are busy. We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of our big move to the Netherlands - which has been absolutely incredible, and we're so grateful, but also comes with a lot of adjustments, confusion, FOMO, and missing family in the states. So every day feels a little heavier than it might otherwise.

What does this have to do with work?

After all, you're thinking, LinkedIn is a professional network, right? Shouldn't we just be sharing work content? Sure. Except here's the thing. The people you work with every day - the ones you collaborate with, manage, report to, and gossip about - are just ... people. They are carrying their own set of spoons, and you never know how many or how few they might have been able to scrounge up on any given day.

By bringing our whole selves to work every day, especially those of us in leadership roles, we create an environment that allows everyone around us to do the same. Workplace cultures can only be authentically grown in an environment where people feel safe acknowledging their humanity. Turnover can't be reduced in offices where people can't have a bad (read "less productive") day, miss a meeting for a vet emergency, call out for a mental health day, or temporarily pare back their workload because spoons are running low.

So here I am on LinkedIn, sharing that my spoon drawer is a little sparse right now, because I'm just a person. If you're reading this, I hope you're tending to your own spoons and protecting the boundaries that keep you feeling as whole and well as possible. If you're in a position of power in your role, or in society in general, I hope you're also using your spoons to help refill the silverware trays of the people around you who are starting out with fewer to begin with. Knocking down those institutionalized lack of spoons will help us all live better lives.