When You're Not Changing, You're Choosing

I read somewhere the other day that "When You're Not Changing, You're Choosing" and it got me thinking.

It hit me hard when I realized that every time I resisted change, I was actually making a choice to stay stuck. I remember a period in my life when I felt frustrated but didn't take any steps to improve my situation. It was easier to stay in my comfort zone, even though I was unhappy for straight 10 months. My previous marriage fell apart coz I was at a place I hated. I chose to move from California to Wisconsin, just coz my ex at that time wanted me to come out there. Just like being in "the butterfly stage" in the first few months of any intimate relationship, I thought that we would live happily ever.

So I quit working at 100s of places where I was teaching my classes, without knowing what the "F" i would do in "WISCONSIN" but hey it felt right so I did it.

But after I moved, got married, stayed in the snowy crazy winters, I went into depression.

The same feeling that I felt years ago as a teenager.

I knew early on that winters are not my thing, but because my childhood was about taking care of my siblings and working 18 hours a day, it never made sense that sometimes we choose based on our responsibility, whether we like it or not.

We don't choose that outcome because we want to, we make those choices because our EGO tells us, thats the best decision in the moment, but our heart knows its not the right thing to do.

So being in that state of FAMILIAR atmosphere, where your body, your mind and your spirit is saying NO, in my case it was the COLD marriage I was in.

One day, I had this epiphany: not changing was just me choosing to accept things as they were, even if I didn't like it. It was a wake-up call. I understood that I had the power to change my life; it was up to me to decide. I learned that every moment offers a choice, and if I wanted to grow, I needed to accept change instead of fearing it. I knew I had to make a change and decided to move back to the Bay Area, CA where my heart always was.

When I moved back, I often thought:

"What was I thinking?"

"Why did I do this?"

"How can I be so stupid?"

This negative narrative is the self criticism spiral that most people tell themselves when they feel stuck at a job or in a marriage or any situation where they are not supposed to be but still they end up being in that situation.

Sounds familiar? Keep reading..

Now, I approach challenges differently. I remind myself that staying the same is also a decision, and if I want something different, I have to be willing to change. So I started taking ownership of my choices and found the courage to step out of my comfort zone.

So why am I telling you all this, so that you understand that you do have a CHOICE if you don't like the situation you are in.

You Have The Power of Choice

Realizing that my inaction was a choice opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. It was empowering to understand that I wasn’t just stuck; I was actively choosing to stay where I was despite the shivering, the gloominess and the low vitamin D levels of my marriage. Instead of seeing change as this big, scary monster, I learned to break it down into bite-sized pieces.

Here’s what worked for me, and I’d love to share some simple steps so you can try it too:

1. Set a vision for your future desired self that will make you feel excited, joyous, happy and any other positive emotions you like to feel. (For example - I wanted to come back to the Bay Area and start teaching yoga again).
2. Before you sleep, visualize exactly what you want, as if you are watching a movie (For example - I visualized where I was staying, where I am teaching and how my students were so excited to be in my class).
3. You want to add a lot of uplifting emotions to your movie - add sounds to your movie (of how you would talk, how others speak to you etc), add smells (i wore the same fragrance in my future desired self's life that I used to wear when I actually taught those classes) so I used that scent in my visualization.
4. Feel the emotion in your body as if you have already received what you want in your future. When you do this, you will start elevating you vibrations to a higher frequency because your heart knows what will make you happy and when your faking it in your mind, that you received your desire already, you are bringing your future into your present reality. This is the most important step for you to come out of your stuckness.
5. If you feel the emotion of your future desired self but are still focusing on the other negative thoughts about where you are at currently, you won't come out of your situation. (For example - you want a different job because of its culture, more pay, better boss, what ever the reason maybe...... focus on the new job and the feelings you will feel when you get that new role vs the negative feelings you are feeling at the present job).

I started setting small, achievable goals. Rather than trying to tackle everything at once, I focused on one step at a time. Whether it was speaking to my existing students and announcing that I am moving back or reaching out to potential companies to hire me, or even just saying no to things that didn’t serve me, each little step was a way for me to reclaim my power. This shift made me realize that change doesn’t have to be a massive leap; it can be a series of small, meaningful steps that lead to incredible transformation. And when you visualize what you want, you bring that into your field of reality :)

So now - Ask Yourself: What small change can I make today that will move me closer to my dreams?

Let’s be real, for some of you, the moment you ask that question, you will be filled with FEARFUL thoughts.

Fear can be a major roadblock when it comes to change. The fear of failing, the unknown, or just feeling uncomfortable can freeze us on our path.

But here’s what I learned:

Accept that fear is part of the journey and when you get a thought that paralyzes you, start seeing fear as a sign that will push your boundaries, that’s where real growth happens!

I usually say "I see you FEAR, but I won't listen to your BULLSHIT"

When I decided to leave the cold place I was living at, trust me I was terrified. But that leap opened up new opportunities and brought a sense of fulfillment that I had never experienced before. I realized that while change might be uncomfortable, the rewards of following a path that feels true to me far outweigh the temporary discomfort.

Ask Yourself: What fears are holding me back, and how can I use them as stepping stones instead?

Taking Ownership of Your Choices

Ultimately, the message of "When you're not changing, you're choosing" is all about being the director of your own movie. I am just trying my my best to remind you that you have the power to shape your own stories through your choices. If you ever feel stuck, take a moment to ask yourself:

• What am I avoiding by not changing?
• How is my current situation helping or hurting me?
• What small step can I take today to start moving forward?

Recognizing that you have control over your choices can be incredibly freeing and it will bring you what you truly want! So shift that negative narrative from feeling like a victim of your circumstances to becoming the HERO/HEROINE in your own story.

So, the next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: What’s stopping me from living my best life? Change is always within reach, it’s just a choice away.

And just like I chose to move to my favorite place, you have the power to choose the life you truly want. Let’s make those choices count!

If you need help CHANGING, I invite you to – Book a FREE 30 MIN Consultation With Me

If you have any questions about what I wrote please comment below and I will see you next week :)

Lots of Love,

Dimple