When Your World is on Fire: Stop. Drop & R.O.L.E.

“Jen, you need to be off work for at least a year to stay with your daughter as she recovers. That’s what I’m writing in your paperwork – you’ll have to figure things out. After her initial healing, it could still take years for full recovery.”

I’ll never forget those words from our family physician. I walked out of the office that day with more questions than answers.

As I stared at the paperwork, none of it made sense. Off for a year? What does that mean? What will people think? How will we survive financially? Where will I land once this was all said and done? And most important of all, what if she doesn’t make it?

My world was on fire.

At that time, we were still frequenting ER’s weekly. I had gotten strategic about hospitals, knowing which ones would send us home to wait the weeks, even months for in-patient treatment, and which ones had care on sight for eating disorders. Every day was a sleepless blur and the waiting game with insurance and providers calling us back felt outright wrong.

Leaving my job meant zero income with a definite “gap in employment”, and my goals and dreams that I had meticulously planned out were on a big – fat – hold. It was hard to think about myself and work, yet hard not to. Over the years, work had become me, and I had become work, even with everything going on at home. Now it felt like all I had was time to think.

I had to problem solve and I had to do it quickly.

I took the time I had to finally slow down. The intentional pause was uncomfortable for me, yet healing. One day, while sitting deep in my thoughts and prayer, I was overcome with the saying “Stop, drop & roll.”

I was suddenly thrown back to the 5th grade with Mr. Pope, my tough as nails PE teacher, who at least once a month had us practice “being on fire”.? (Might sound weird to you if you’re outside the US, but in the late 1970’s this fire safety lesson started in our public schools). I remember my teacher telling us to pretend our shirt or pants had brushed up against a campfire or some open flame.? He had consistently instructed us to 1) stay as calm as possible, 2) stop in our tracks, 3) drop down to the ground and 4) roll around to put out the flames.

As a boisterous 5th grader, I remember it being more fun than the feeling that was coming over me at the moment. Somehow, I suddenly knew what I had to do.

I had to put out the flames.

Over the next few months I spent a lot of time "stopped and dropped" in various forms of self-reflection. I realized where I was getting in my own way, adding fuel to the fire and learned to put out the flames, rather than add to them. I began to intentionally practice gratitude daily and as my mindset shifted, I started to observe the positive impact of the massive changes. I began to see the changes as a gift - evolving into GROWTH ??

Within a couple of weeks of this ah-ha moment, I had created a 6-step process. A process that, if used intentionally, can help us dig deep to answer the questions we might not be willing to ask ourselves without it. I began to use the process daily as things came up that I needed to make decisions on, and it helped me be more self-aware. I started to implement it into my private coaching sessions with new clients (by this time I had formed my coaching business), and I saw it work. My process was helping me – and now it was helping others.

Stop. Drop. & R.O.L.E. was born.

Slowly, over the past 14 months, the podcast by the same name has come to fruition. As I continue to use the process and create content for my book “The Great Outgrown”, (anticipated release date late 2025) both have fueled one another. Creating both has kept me busy and creative in the spaces that I love – leadership and coaching.

In each episode I guide you through various topics such as relationships, leadership development, engagement, performance, baggage, boundaries, managing people, letting go and gratitude. The list will grow as episodes do! I focus on business areas such as sales, the C-suite, operations, human resources etc. across all industries. I bring in my years of experience working with non-profits, call centers, manufacturing, military veterans and restaurant/hospitality - all with the unique and talented individuals of whom I’ve coached?through life, career and executive areas.

The 6-step process goes like this (with many added components):

Stop – intentionally pause and be still.

Drop – the ego, busyness and story you’re telling yourself.

Reflect – Self-reflection (the work is yours to do).

Observe – Your reactions, behaviors and emotions.

Listen – To your gut, intuition and people you trust – to understand.

Evolve – Identify healthy change, change to GROW, and take action.

Each step is accompanied by a plethora of questions to support the topic at hand, allowing you to have your own coaching session in the privacy of your own space.

Each episode has a customized resource guide to use for notes and to track your growth, downloadable from my website at https://www.perpetualcapacity.com/stop-drop-role-podcast

Episodes can be utilized individually, in lunch & learns, leader development groups, well-being initiatives at work and home – or wherever people lead (which, is EVERYWHERE). Consider it individual coaching or if you're part of a group - think of it like a book club, but this is a leadership club. Each episode is an event that you can utilize to intentionally GROW through the actions of Stop. Drop. Reflect. Observe. Listen & Evolve.

I created this for YOU.

To use, and to prove:

You CAN start over.?

You CAN heal and leave your past behind.

You CAN make a difference no matter what circumstances are thrown at you.

*And your loved one/family CAN beat an eating disorder ??

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From one leader to another, it’s time to shift your mind and go – put out those flames!

It’s time to GROW ??

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