When your Manager is not a coach or mentor ( and thinks they are)

When your Manager is not a coach or mentor ( and thinks they are)

Why Not All Managers Are Good Coaches (And How to Thrive Anyway)

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Many companies expect managers to act as coaches. The idea is that managers, with their experience and knowledge, should be able to guide and mentor their teams toward success. But the reality is that not all managers are good coaches—and that's okay. Coaching is a skill set that not every manager has developed, and being a strong leader doesn't automatically make someone a great coach.

So, what happens when you're under a manager who isn't the best coach? Does it mean you're destined to stall in your career or face challenges in your role? Absolutely not. Understanding the difference between a manager and a coach can empower you to navigate this dynamic while continuing to excel and grow.

?Why Are Some Managers Not Good Coaches?

Here are a few reasons why not every manager excels as a coach:

1. Different Skill Sets: Managing and coaching require different approaches. While managers are responsible for ensuring tasks are completed and goals are met, coaching is more about guiding development, asking the right questions, and fostering a growth mindset. Some managers may focus more on operational efficiency and less on individual development.

? 2. Time Constraints: Many managers are juggling multiple responsibilities and may lack the time to provide personalized coaching to each team member. Coaching requires time, attention, and a willingness to dive deep into the nuances of each employee’s strengths, weaknesses, and goals.

3. Lack of Training: Coaching is a learned skill, and not all managers have been trained to do it effectively. While they may excel at strategic decision-making or performance management, they might not know how to develop others’ skills or create a safe space for growth and learning.

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Imagine working for a manager whose primary focus is meeting deadlines and hitting KPIs. They're great at assigning tasks, but when you seek feedback on how to improve, they give surface-level responses like, "Just keep doing what you're doing." While this type of manager can drive results, they may struggle to offer the developmental insights you're craving.

Then there's the micromanager—someone who prefers to control every detail, leaving little room for autonomy. This kind of manager may provide feedback, but it's often focused on immediate corrections rather than long-term growth. They might not take the time to understand your strengths and aspirations, making it difficult to feel coached or empowered.

So, what can you do? Let talk about how to be an effective employee under a manager who isn’t a great coach.

If you find yourself under a manager who isn't an ideal coach, don’t worry. You can still be an effective, engaged, and growing employee by taking control of your development. Here are three key tips to help you thrive:

??? Take Ownership of Your Growth

Just because your manager isn't coaching you doesn't mean your development has to suffer. Be proactive about seeking out learning opportunities, whether through online courses, networking with peers, or attending industry events. Set personal goals that align with both your role and your career aspirations, and don't be afraid to ask your manager for support in achieving them.

?? ?Seek Out Mentors

A great coach doesn't have to be your direct manager. Find mentors inside or outside your organization who can offer guidance and help you develop your skills. These individuals can provide the coaching that your manager may not be able to give. By surrounding yourself with a network of supportive, experienced professionals, you can continue to grow even if your manager isn’t providing direct coaching.

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PRO TIP:

Connect with colleagues in other teams within your organization who demonstrate the leadership qualities you're looking to develop. Ask them for a coffee chat to discuss their career journey and ask for advice on how you can advance in your own.

??? Communicate Your Needs

Sometimes managers don't realize they're not offering enough coaching because they assume things are going well. Don't hesitate to communicate your desire for more feedback or guidance. Frame it in a way that shows you're eager to grow and contribute more effectively to the team. Here is an example: You could say, "I really appreciate the way you manage our team’s projects. I’m also hoping to get some more insights on how I can grow in my role. Could we set aside some time to discuss development strategies?"

?While it’s ideal to have a manager who is also a great coach, the reality is that not every manager can fulfill both roles perfectly. However, by taking ownership of your own development, seeking mentorship, and communicating your needs, you can continue to grow and succeed in your career.


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The key is to be adaptable and resourceful in your learning journey. Even if your manager isn’t a great coach, you have the power to carve out your own path to success.

KEY Takeaway: Not all managers are great coaches, and that's okay. The most important thing is to take control of your own growth by seeking out learning opportunities, finding mentors, and having open conversations about your development needs.

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#CareerGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #CoachingSkills #EmployeeSuccess #MentorshipMatters #Management #ProfessionalGrowth #CareerTips

Agree! Mentors, sponsors and building your personal Board of Directors to help you with perspective and growth when that is not an option with your manager is KEY!! Thank you Dee Calizo.

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Dee Calizo

Helping Coaches & Consultants Turn Their Visibility into Client Consultations | Video Content Strategist | Personal Branding Expert | Founder @creativesdee

2 个月

Taking charge of your growth is key, especially when your manager isn’t providing the coaching you need. It's empowering to seek out mentors and opportunities to bridge those gaps yourself. Anne Marie Ota?ez

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Sheryl Brinkley, MBA, ACC, CHIC

Executive Coach & Career Acceleration Catalyst | Leader progression path into Executive & C-Suite roles | Speaker, Trainer & Facilitator | I help high performing women keep their head in the game while playing the game!

2 个月

I completely agree with what was shared as well as the strategies to thrive Anne Marie Ota?ez. I will add that every leader has strengths and development areas too and the way that you framed this article makes it easy to understand why a “people” leader cannot be “all things” and to leave room and acceptance without “feeling some kind of way” about it. Message is to be an empowered worker and remain watchful of how to have less reliance on the immediate leader for your development & growth and to be resourceful. Great post?

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