When Your Hero Catches a Rainbow

I have reached the point in life where my yesterdays far outnumber my tomorrows. And, in the words of Willie Nelson, while “It’s been rough and rocky traveling, but I’ve finally landed upright on the ground. And after taking several readings, I’m surprised to find my mind’s still fairly sound”, I know that numbers don’t lie and sooner than I would like, the Reaper will reap.?

At my age, you are reminded almost daily of your mortality as your contemporaries fall by the wayside. In the last month alone, Jerry West, Willie Mays and Donald Sutherland have all passed on.?

And, while those folks were meaningful to my life, none held the stature that Richard, “Kinky” Friedman of Kerrville, Texas did.?

I first became aware of Kinky Friedman sometime in the late 1970’s, when I saw him on Saturday Night Live with his band, The Texas Jew Boys. He was outrageous, and outrageous has always appealed to me. His song lyrics were often offensive, but ironically and satirically so- offensive to literal people, but captivating and hysterically entertaining to those of us who were bright, mentally quick and a little bit off.?

I was hooked from day one. I soon had all of his albums, read everything by and about him and longed for the time I might meet him in person.?

And then I did.

The date was November 18, 2004. The place was the Little Rock, Arkansas airport. The occasion was the dedication of the Clinton Library. I had been in town on a consulting engagement at a local hospital. That morning, I had eaten breakfast with former Attorney General Janet Reno, and on my trip through the airport that day, I had encountered both Judy Collins and James Carville.?

Any of those encounters would have been noteworthy.. But all of a sudden, standing twenty feet away, talking with his band mate Little Jewford, was the man himself.?

The Kinkster.?

Never one to squander an opportunity (that morning I had seen Janet Reno sitting alone in the Concierge Level at my hotel and asked if she minded if I joined her), I walked up and introduced myself.?

I think Kinky once said this, “There are two kinds of people- those who pee in the shower and those who lie about it.” I say this: There are two kinds of celebrities- those who can’t wait to get away from you and those who are gracious. James Carville and George Will were of the former. Janet Reno and Kinky Friedman were of the latter.?

I approached Kinky with the typical starstruck fan bullshit and he responded by talking to me as if he had known me for years. He even told me two stories. Here they are:?

A young kid was working in the produce section of the grocery store. An old guy comes up to him and asks if he can buy a half a head of lettuce. Perplexed, the kid says, “Wait a minute, I have to check,” and goes into the back of the store to talk to his manager. His manager asks what the problem is and the kid replies, “Some asshole just came in and asked if he could buy a half a head of lettuce, unaware that the man had followed him to the back. As he turned and saw the man, the kid hastily added, “And this fine gentleman has offered to buy the other half.”?

Second story: A guy calls his buddy and asks him to go to lunch to discuss a business issue. So they met for lunch and the first guy says, “I need your advice. This guy from Canada has asked me to go into business with him and I don’t what I should do”, to which his friend replies emphatically, “Don’t do it!” Shocked, the first guy says. “Why not? You didn’t even let me tell you what the opportunity was about.” His friend replies, “I don’t need to know. The only things that come from Canada are Hookers and Hockey Players.”?

To which the friend replies, “I am offended! My wife is Canadian.”?

Without skipping a beat, the first man says, “Really? What team does she play for?”?

That was my first encounter with the Kinkster. I would meet hm several more times over the years and every encounter was truly memorable.

But to stop here, all you would know that Kinky Friedman was a colorful, witty guy who created the contradictory character of a Jewish Country singer, and that is far from the truth.?

Richard Friedman was born in Chicago in October 1944. His parents moved to the Texas Hill Country when he was very young. His father was a Doctor and the Kinkster was raised in an intellectual environment. At seven, he was a chess savant who once played in a multi-player tournament with the World Champion (he lost, of course). He attended the University of Texas, graduated from its honors program and served two years with the Peace Corps in Borneo, “teaching people who had farmed successfully for five thousand years how to increase their yield.”?

A Hall of Fame writer, politician and activist, perhaps the greatest role of the Kinkster’s life was that of Animal Rights activist. He was a man who saved more animals than Noah- another famous Jewish animal rights dude. The most famous quote associated with Kinky is this one: “Money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.”? He founded the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch near Kerrville, and over the years he has saved over 1,000 assorted animals and breeds from euthanasia.?

The Kinkster was a true Renaissance man- a truly HUMAN being. He was also the Jewish Yogi Berra- famous for his quirky quotes. Here are a few:

·????? When one door closes, another opens. Aside from that, it’s a fine car.

·????? I hate golf. The only two good balls I ever hit was when I stepped on a rake in the sand trap.

·????? Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.

·????? When I die, I’m going to be cremated and have ny ashes spread in Rick Perry’s hair.

·????? I never apologize for the truth, and the truth is- racism comes in many colors.

?

Kinky often talked about his dogs “Catching a Rainbow” when they passed on.?

Yesterday, Kinky Friedman caught his rainbow. He would probably leave us with the Kinkster Blessing: May the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows.?

Take care, Kinkster. I hope you have been reunited with The Dog in The Sky.

?Dog in the Sky