When your forced to pause, allow it its a time to remember yourself

Everyone has a story to tell of their ups and downs in life, but I can only share mine.

This years has been a nightmare for me and challenge me in ways I have never been challenge before.

Last year I began suffering with slight pins and needles in my fingers that got worse, to the point it was waking me up, that got worse over time resulting in me having 3 hours sleep if I was lucky for a year.

I didn't need my Doctor to give me a diagnose as I knew I had symptoms of Carpool Tunnel that was getting worse over time.

I made so many spelling mistakes due to not feeling my fingers, worse; I actually responded to one of my clients via text which went like this;

'No worries we can pick up from the last session in the meantime, think over what we discussed and begin to get familiar with what you actually want in life. Tell them let me f**k you'. ??

I didn't even realise I wrote this, but my phone rang it was my client that I just text, I answered to a hysterical laughter from her.

I actually thought what the fuck is she on, but eeerm it was actually my fingers that was the culprit combined with placing it's faith in auto spell; oh well my client found it funny I guess, just a tat embarrassing for me but anyway.

Luckily, my clients were all aware of my condition that over time got worse and recently I had the operation to sort it out, and yes it was painful and I am still healing.

On top of that I became behind with responding to emails, sending invoices and responding to job proposals.

Beforehand, I had already had another operation on my nose to open my airways which was successful.

But what hit me more this year, was losing my close friend whom was like a brother to me to the dreaded disease Cancer.

I won't lie, it knocked me from all directions that resulted in myself being angry that he didn't even live to celebrate his 50th birthday.

OK, I had a difficult time but who hasn't right?

Moving forward; despite all, I was forced to pause and with the pausing my mindset was able to breathe and re-evaluate again.

I was restricted in what I was able to do and still struggle when I type due to the after effects of my Carpool Tunnel operation but, I also understand this is only temporary.

I am still saddened by my dear friend's death, but I understand he is no longer suffering therefore, I know only to think of the good memories we had and will always treasure In my heart.

I was able to connect with myself so much so that having a recent operation I wasn't even physically exhausted but in fact mentally.

If I could take my brain out and just place it under my duvet cover, trust me I would have. What I actually needed and didn't even realise it, I simply needed to take time out and not think but actually pause.

I am no talking about pausing for 20min in my days, I am referring to pausing for a few weeks to actually physically and mentally rest without worrying about anything but listening to my needs.

I won't give you the bullshit phrase of;

'At that moment my life suddenly changed and an amazing miracle occurred within me'.

It was the opposite which was; I saw more clearly the meaning of 'I am- not what I am told and seen by others.

It felt like I was watching my own movie flashing right in-front of me. I saw the person I used to be whom, was totally separated and had no direction in life.

Then I saw the build up to the person I have become and continue to work on, and now I guide others to do the same.

I remembered more good deeds and struggled remembering any bad, and with it the reminder that there will always be people who want to judge you, put you down for the sake of themselves feeling better because they can't get their shit together.

I remembered a while ago I had written a post and the purpose of the post was to inspire others if going through a tough time to keep going as there is a guarantee of a light at the end of the tunnel as I have gone through it and know.

I also shared personal experiences of my life journey and stated some days I can have my moments just like anybody else does, but I also share how to avoid reoccurring issues and the importance of self working on yourself has.

To cut the long story short, I had a few comments from people whom have had similar experiences, right down to people going through on the subject I am writing about.

You always have one person who has to jump the band wagon and be smart with their comments and at the same time try to advertise their services.

He stated that, by myself writing about my experiences I wasn't a good example of a Mindset Coach.

I immediately deleted the comment, and just ignored the person as I have nothing to prove but only to myself.

He took it upon himself to DM me to continue the conversation as he noticed I had deleted his comment from my post and had mentioned it when he DM me.

I wasn't nasty in my response but I was certainly direct and blunt in my response by saying;

'I respect your opinion that you think by myself sharing my experiences in my posts is not very professional in your eyes. But if you paused for a moment and understand this; through my life experiences I made that choice to better myself, to grow as a person and not only be the best version of myself that I can. I am embracing my true authenticity and guiding others to do the same and have done with a successful lasting results.

Would you rather have a Mindset Set Coach that writes newsletters showcasing utter shit and preaching to people stuff they have never experienced in their entire living existence?

See, what actually makes a good Mindset Coach is a person who has been through tough stuff that can have an impact on ones life, resulting in making them feeling like shit and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel because they are too depressed and can't see a way out, I have been there.

Furthermore, because I was mentally weak at the time I turned to drinking, partying and drugs so as I wouldn't be reminded that my life was spiralling by the second and believe I could not turn it around and take control.

But hey, I actually turned my life around and now I get great enjoyment coaching others to do the same so considering I have walked a dark road and corrected myself and still continue to do so, I think that makes me a good Mindset Coach who can talk and walk the walk; or would you prefer Mindset Coach who has never been through adversities in life, had everything done for them and most likely not happy within themselves because they can't got their shit in order but are quick to tell others how to?

But forget about me, lets take a look at your actions, the fact you had the cheek to try and belittle me, then had the cheek to post a link of your website as a Life Coach speaks high volumes that you are not confident in yourself nor your coaching.

It is obvious you have time on your hands otherwise you wouldn't be DM to carry this conversation on.

Just curious what life challenges have you undergone that you can guide others in over coming?'.

I didn't even get a response, but I later found out he was a spoilt rich kid that Daddy and Mummy funds, not to mention he had DM several coaches here on LinkedIn and other social media platforms that I network with, the same crap and topping it with a link to his website for their followers to views.

If you are ever forced to pause just be mindful of the following:

• We have to be mindful that life can challenge us, so much so that we loose prospective of who we truly are and the good qualities we have within.
• We will always have people who will judge us, place their mistakes on us because they can't correct theirs. When we allow this behaviour from others you are simply inviting them to hinder your progress.
• We forget the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health is instead, we allow ourselves to be open to negativity from situations and others.
• Our life becomes repetitive and over time we are still sitting in the same comfort zone we was 2 years ago with no clue In how to escape it.

In my case, I was forced to pause this year to be reminded that I need to take time out for myself and completely switch off.

See, when I started personal Training clients would look to me as a magic wand that would be magically waved and they would transform into this perfect body, not quiet like that but anyway;

It was the same for my Mindset Coaching but in this case was to switch off to recharge to come back better and stronger than ever not only for my clients but most importantly for myself.

Next time life throws lemons at you, don't bother squeezing them to make yourself fresh lemonade instead, allow it to get you to pause only then when you properly pay attention you will see the true reflection of who you are and what you stand for.

PS-

My fingers have a mind of their own and it has been 2 days since I last had Morphine for pain relief; other than that wishing you all a awesome week ??

Interested in working with Helena, email: [email protected]

#mindsetcoach #mindsetmatters #pause #timeoutforyou