When Is It Your Fault?

So this came up for me during a client meeting late August, and I just had to share because everything happens for a reason. Let's talk about how women fall into the habit of internalizing their problems instead of sharing out loud.

Earlier in the month, a new client came on board looking to expand on an event concept she toyed with back in 2020. She was losing interest in her existing main business income and was ready to branch out into her true passion / this event experience.

A week later, she had a big client leave. When she mentioned this, she was very casual about it, even suggesting that it was la-di-da casual occurrence - no major implications. Okay, so in my mind we're still working on this new business and launch date coming up. Then I noticed, work was not happening. She wasn't doing the next steps we had established and she even postponed the event.

Being the coach/consultant I am and given that I work with people who are okay with the truth, I then point out "I'm hearing a lot of excuses masking something deeper which is negatively impacting this business happening"

From there, the REAL conversation began. Thank goodness!

Turns out she was concerned about her funds. I've been in that space before and perhaps you reading this as well have been in that same space - inconsistent income, uncertainty, fear, where is it going to come from. And what do those thoughts lead to?

Poor business decisions. Lack of action. Inability to find hope in your business.

And she was worried about her livelihood! Rightfully so…and that livelihood impacted everything else. Bad energy informing your consults and calls. After she lost a client, she spent the next month going from getting design projects to 0% close rate.

All her life, she internalized her problems. "It's my problem. I'll figure it out myself."

Here's the thing though, when you hire a coach/consultant/mentor/advisor, we must KNOW! When you are a solopreneur or a small business owner with very few employees, it ALL MATTERS! Your life dictates how you show up for your business and what needs to happen next.

You can try to separate home and business, but you will fail.

You cannot leave out information about your life and somehow expect great recommendations from outside experts when they don't know what's really happening.

There was a client I lost earlier this year, and I didn't understand why. We were going well, then things took a turn. And I was sooooo confused as to what had happened. Upon reflection and reading her last message closely, I realize that there were personal matters happening that she did not feel comfortable revealing during our session, including a cancer diagnosis requiring treatment - scary stuff with major impact to all areas of mind, body, and soul which then impacts the business!

The shift in energy of our relationship was rooted in my lack of awareness and understanding in what was happening in her life. My blame in this is that I did not establish that high level of trust I thought we had and I likely did not set those clear expectations upfront that everything including business and personal matters. And thus our partnership and unfortunately, also friendship, went tumbling down.

From what I learned from that past client, I took that lesson into this recent situation. I live and learn.

I had originally entered the conversation with my client on August 25th with a whole presentation / deck prepared to review her marketing strategy for this new business. After the moment of truth revelation that she was centering her mind around money/financial stress, my agenda went out the window. I decided to take the time to prioritize what she needed in that moment and that was for us to work together to problem-solve her life. We looked at ways for her to improve her money flow so she can soothe her mind and have better conversations with leads.

Two hours later, she already completed one of the two action items we set - so action was being taken! One month later, I'm happy to report her business is back on track - room to grow in the current business, and we've agreed to put the extra passion project on the side again until the first business is actually stable enough. But now, she has a business advisor to help her structure and operate her business in a way that makes it enjoyable for her in this 2.0 re-vamp.

Aligned Expectations and Clear Communication are keys to any successful relationship! The people trying to help you need the details to BEST help you.

Withholding information only withholds your chance at success. In that scenario, you have only yourself to blame.

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Burnout is prevalent in the workplace...costing leaders thousands of dollars in stress related health costs (I remember those days) and companies millions of dollars in lost productivity and poor work performance.

Vanessa Zamy, renowned as The Business Defibrillator?, is passionate about fostering well-being and balance within corporate offices.?

Vanessa Zamy leverages her diverse experiences on Fortune 500 company ladders to equip middle management leaders with practical tools to achieve work-life balance. A catalyst for sustainable success, Vanessa ensures corporate professionals navigate the corporate world with increased productivity, renewed vitality, and exponential performance.

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