When Your Boss Says “No,” Ask Better Questions

Another in the series, Asking Better Questions, by IQVIA Change Management and Enterprise Transformation teams. Goal: Faster, better, more human-centered change.

PART 1: Change How Your Respond to “No”

Use every “No” from your boss as an opportunity to change your relationship with him/her. Do not challenge… Ask better questions.

1. Discover the Unsaid

There’s almost always information behind every “No” that bosses didn’t think to share. Discover what that is by asking questions like…

? “Help me better understand what you’re trying to achieve.”

? “Help me better understand why my idea isn’t a good one.”

? “Help me better understand my next steps.”

? “What’s driving this deadline?”

? “Did I misunderstand our department’s top priorities?”

2. Explore Alternatives

This step is for reserved for play-it-safers. Once you've mastered this step, try as quickly as you can to jump to Step 3.

Step 2: Based on what you learn in Step 1, set up a discussion about exploring possible alternative solutions. Like:?

? “Now that I better understand your needs… I’d like to come back to you with a couple new possibilities. OK?”

? “If I meet those requirements, I assume you will review a revised proposal?”

? “I will revise my budget and get back to you next week.”

3. Work Up Alternatives to His/Her ‘No’

Use the information gained from your boss in Step 1 to help close the sale of your idea by prototyping it. (For how tos: Go?here,?here,?here, or?here.)

When your boss said “No,” it was a reaction to something you were trying to describe in words. Go past your words and make your idea real. Create something your boss can experience, see, hear, or touch. Give your boss something to react to, where the pluses and minuses can be discussed?after?that experience. The keys…

? Never ask permission. Seek only forgiveness for taking initiative

? Spend zero money, or as close to that as possible

? Time: As close as possible to just hours or a few days from his/her “No.” (Anything longer than that and you risk having your boss feeling betrayed.)

Sometimes the answer will still be “No.” That's life. None of us hear “Yes” every time. As you'll discover in Part 2, the thing to focus on is the reasons for, and frequency of, your Yes's and No's.

Also, be willing to accept partial Yes's. I recently followed the steps above, and didn't get a full Yes — budget restrictions — but my idea is still moving forward, just differently than I had hoped.

Part 2: Find Your Voice, Take a Stand

If Steps 1–3 Work… Great! No need for the next step. You are successfully changing your relationship with your boss to take more risks and be more innovative.

4. If Trying Steps 1–3 a Few Times Keeps Getting You Nowhere…

Your boss or organizational culture may be holding you back in ways that will not further your needs. You have two choices… Either:?Stop asking for permission altogether. Just do whatever you think is best. And then when you get dinged: Ask for forgiveness, again and again. Or:?Start looking for a new manager, or a new job. If you've tried Steps 1—3 repeatedly, and you still hear nothing but "No's," staying where you are will likely keep you feeling unfulfilled, or unhappy, or both.

MORE WORDS OF WISDOM: Richard Branson on Living a Life With No Regrets

Excerpted from?Click, the free how to compendium to my sixth book,?Disrupt! Think Epic, Be Epic

Bill Jensen?is Principle, Strategy/Life Sciences, at IQVIA.?Leading IQVIA's Applied Change Management Center of Excellence, Bill is author of nine best-selling leadership and change books, including?Simplicity, Disrupt, The Courage Within Us, and?Future Strong. He's also a Top 10 global keynote speaker on the future of work and digital disruption. Reach him at?[email protected].