Growing your business, when you wake up next to your business partner every day
The highs and lows of being in a family business
Something like 85% of small businesses in Australia are family owned and a large percentage of those are run by a husband and wife team.
In husband and wife businesses, many times one of the partners started the business on the basis of his or her profession or trade and then at a later stage the spouse joins the business to take control of some of the functions of the business that the founder of the business has trouble with.
I've worked with many such couples and what's more my journey in business followed a similar path in the dim dark days of the eighties and nineties.
I started a building company on the back of my qualifications and experience as a carpenter, in 1984. I was a great carpenter and builder, if I say so myself. I built great houses and I still think back with a lot of pride to many of the projects we completed. But in the early days, the business nevertheless teetered on the edge of the abyss from week to week. We were always short of cash, suppliers sometimes had to wait well beyond the agreed trading terms to get paid, paperwork would pile up and I felt overwhelmed, frustrated and stuck most days.
Order in the chaos
My wife at the time, was a well organised person, and she was becoming increasingly concerned about things. It was clear to her I wasn't coping. She worried the business might fail and the marriage along with it and suggested she join the business to take control of systemisation, finance, HR and admin; to develop some order in the chaos I'd created in other words.
Long story short, she did join, things started improving and 20 years later we sold the business to my junior partner, allowing us the room to move on in other directions.
My ex-wife joining the business and us becoming partners was the best thing that happened to me as a business owner. Until that time, I'd felt alone, unsure of myself, overwhelmed and frustrated, and although I wouldn't have admitted it out loud at that time, the business was definitely not in a good place. From the moment my ex-wife became involved, fully, I had someone to share my challenges with, to brainstorm with, to plan and strategise with. And I was able to let go of business functions that were not my strong suits (read: that I was hopeless at).
The experience of being in business with your spouse can be incredibly rewarding and profitable and it can often lead to a deepening of your relationship. Many of my clients have had similar experiences.
But that's just one side of the coin.
The other side looks a little different.
Unique challenges
Waking up beside your business partner every morning comes with it's own set of unique challenges. Here are just some of them:
- It can be incredibly difficult to learn to ‘leave work at work’, if you're waking up besides your business partner every morning.
- Sometimes the spouse who joined the business (my wife in my story above) can feel like they’ve sacrificed their career for that of the partner. Resentment is one of the most destructive emotions in any kind of relationship.
- Sometimes the admin partner has joined out of necessity rather than from skill, training or experience in this field.
- Relationship dynamics can get in the way of business partnership dynamics.
- If the business fails it can wreck the marriage as well.
I've written an article on my blog recently about some of those challenges, here. And there is a great article on the Smart Company blog about a bunch of business couples who have been successful here.
My ex-wife and I experienced many of the challenges listed above as well. I'm happy to say that we managed our way through them. I think we both felt it was the honesty of our communication about the challenges that made the difference, along with the fact that we accepted the challenges as real and important, right from the beginning. We also engaged invaluable external help at various stages in our journey.
How's it working for you so far?
So how are the pros and cons of family business balancing out in your circumstances?
I have created a special survey that may help you and your spouse initiate a series of powerful conversations about the state of your business and home relationships. Inspired by the power-couple of the music business, the survey is called the Beyoncé and Jay-Z Family Business Survey. You can access it on my website here. It consists of only 12 questions and should take you more than a few minutes to complete.
The most effective way to use the survey is for both you and your spouse to complete the 12 question survey separately and then to sit down, compare and discuss the results with each other. In your discussion, practice curiosity: "I see you scored question 3 quiet low, a lot lower than I scored it. I'd love to hear how come you gave that score there". The conversations that follow will start to change your business and your life... I promise you.
Family Business Australia is a great organisation that supports family businesses in Australia. Have a look at their website, here.
#FamilyBusiness, #HusbandAndWifeBusiness, #SpouseAsBusinessPartner #BusinessDevelopment