When are you saying Yes when you should say No?

So many clients I have spoken to recently have admitted that they have a huge problem saying no to requests at work, to their family, and everyone else. The only person they consistently say No to is themselves and their own self-care!

When we explored this phenomenon it became apparent that there are a number of stories which may drive this behaviour:

• Setting my own boundaries and looking after my own energy levels is selfish
• I want to be a high achiever and therefore I need to take on everything to demonstrate my capability
• I was taught as a youngster that buckling down and working hard will be rewarded.

Which of these narratives is driving your behaviour and what is the impact of this?

If this sounds like you then it is time to reframe your narrative by asking yourself the following questions:

• If I say yes to this demand/project what am I saying no to? Our time and energy are finite so we need to assess what we will have to miss out on if we say yes now.
• What are the costs of saying yes to everything? To myself? To my family? To my team? To my organisation? Sometimes understanding the impact on those around us can help us challenge our assumptions.
• Who else can support me to deliver everything that is required? Demonstrating leadership capability also requires you to prioritise and delegate.
• What other behaviours could support me in having my work recognised? It is possible to get so bogged down in completing a long task list that we lose sight of building the relationships required to achieve recognition – building connections is absolutely critical.

If you are keen to start exploring your narratives, challenging your assumptions, and creating new, more effective pathways forward as a leader then please?give me a call

with love

Sue