When You Know Better, Do Better: My EQ Challenge

Remember the days when blunt honesty was considered a good thing? What?? It was never a good thing?? Are you sure you are remembering correctly? Well, I used to wear my directness like a badge of honor, armed with a blunt honesty that could cut through steel. I prided myself on being direct, no sugarcoating, no beating around the bush.?I thought it was the best way to avoid miscommunication and earn respect.? But as Maya Angelou wisely said,?

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

And let me tell you, I learned better. I remember my first project, a supervisor insisted on reading my emails before I sent them out.? I was always annoyed and felt untrusted.? I felt that her suggested edits were “flowery” and unnecessarily “over-polite”.? (btw, they weren’t suggestions, I had to make the changes) I just wanted to be clear and frank about what needed to be done and when.?What I didn’t know is that people were complaining that my communications were too forthright for someone in my position.?There were people higher up on the food chain in my communication and they were taking offense.? I still think that was a personal problem, but it was the corporate culture and I was going against it.? See, Turns out, being successful in the corporate requires some finesse and emotional awareness.

?Enter emotional intelligence, the secret sauce of successful communication. I've learned to tap into the nuances of corporate culture, surf the nuanced waves of business norms, and even prance around the landmines of stereotypes and inherent biases. ?Consider removing a screw using a Philip’s head screwdriver instead of a butter knife.? Same goal but less damage.? It’s like an upgrade!?

So, here's the thing: mastering emotional intelligence isn't about becoming some touchy-feely pushover or cloaking your message in fluff and word salad. It's about recognizing the impact your words and actions have on others, understanding corporate culture and its unspoken rules, and even acknowledging the sometimes not-so-obvious biases that can influence how your message is received.? Taking these things into consideration when communicating with other people can make all the difference.

?Of course, there are times when I fumble the finesse ball. But hey, those are the learning moments, right??

?Now, don't get me wrong, my directness is still an asset. But now it's seasoned with empathy, awareness, and a healthy dose of humor. This approach only improved my relationships, but also my communication effectiveness.? People appreciate being told the truth, but you have to do it in a way that they can receive it.? Crazy as it sounds, sometimes just saying it is not the best way.

?So, what’s your EQ??How effective is your communication??Back to Ms. Angelou’s quote, what have you learned lately that caused you to do better?? Feel free to share.? I love lessons learned!

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