When you have an important message to communicate and the stakes are high, are you managing your state or is it controlling you?

Most of us have been there; the racing pulse, the damp palms and the sudden bout of extreme self-consciousness.

Welcome to a high-stakes communication experience.

You might be about to present a vital report to the Board or deliver a controversial media message. Perhaps you've stepped in front of a camera for a livestream or you're starting a crucial conversation with a team member or friend.

These situations are often uncomfortable and sometimes downright terrifying.

In my experience, it doesn't matter how many years you have on the clock or how impressive your title is – you’re still likely to feel daunted about stepping up when the pressure is on.

When I work with leaders, one of our key areas of focus is managing their state when communicating during times of tension. Yes, it's important to think about who you're talking to, what you're about to say and how you'll say it, but it can all very easily go sideways if you don't first turn within and check what's going on there.

In our super-busy world, most of us are racing between appointments - whether virtual or in-person - with very little time in between. That almost guarantees you won’t perform at your best when you need to communicate with confidence and credibility.

If you know you need to deliver a message with impact, try these steps (even if you only have a few minutes):

1. Clear your mind of everything but the situation you’re about to enter. A technique like Dr Adam Fraser’s The Third Space can help you transition from the activity you’ve just finished to the one you’re about to tackle. If anything is lingering from the last meeting or conversation, make some notes and then put them out of sight for now.

2. Focus on taking deep breaths, right down into your abdomen. Put your hand on your stomach and, when you inhale and exhale, see if you can notice your hand moving in and out. If you think this is corny or old-fashioned, you might be surprised at the significant performance lift I have seen when leaders take this seriously.

3. Now focus very specifically on the person or people with whom you’re about to communicate. I’m talking about your end audience here – if you’re looking through a camera, think about those who’ll be watching. If it’s a big group, think about one person who is typical of that audience. If you don’t know them, use your imagination.

What do they need from you right now? What do you want to walk away with at the end of the communication? What value will you bring, to ensure the result is in the best interest of all parties?

Sometimes we’re so intent on spurting out our important message that we neglect to get our inner state right before we start.

The higher the stakes, the more likely your words will be fuelled by adrenalin – a dangerous place to be.

You can start, at any time, to introduce a new habit when you approach high-stakes communication.

Be proactive about managing your state, rather than letting your nerves get the upper hand.

Dr Neryl East is a professional speaker and facilitator who shows leaders how to be heard, stand out and command influence. Connect with her:https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/neryleast/