When You Get a Family Lunch Invitation from your Staff!

I was really honoured when one of my staff towards the end of the last year 2022 said – “Ayo my dad wants me to invite you to our home. My family would really like to invite you and family”. Why? you can guess was the next question. “To thank me!”, I was told. Whoa! What! Okay, let me think!

You see, I never invited anyone Senior from work in my junior years to have dinner or lunch in my house. However, I had bosses I never stopped talking about at home. My dad knew how impactful some of my bosses or boss’s boss were to me in my career. Whilst I didn’t invite them to mine, I had free access to homes of two of my bosses. I will visit the boss (the closest to me, who recommended me for my first profession promotion after just one year working in a bank in Nigeria) at weekends with my wife. Even after I stopped working directly for him, I continued to visit his home. Our family became very close even until now, he is the one boss that comes to my home and I visit his at least once a year.

Why am I saying all these? Whilst I know work needs to be professional, at the end of the day people’s lives are being impacted by our work interactions for good or for bad. Especially at senior levels, it is tempting to go through daily work routines maintaining a poker face of (no need to be friends, I just need to get people to perform or deliver their tasks). Remember, people talk to their families about you - how kind you were to them, how helpful you were, how you supported them, how inspiring you were, how impactful you were to their career, what you teach them, how they trust you, how they appreciate your investment in them, how they acknowledge your support for their progression, how you are a great leader etc. Of course, the opposite chat happens too – how wicked the boss is, how the boss is making me hate my life, how the boss is making me look for another job etc. Which will you strive for in 2023???

So, let me finish my family invitation story. I finally gathered all the energy I had, and I honoured this invitation few days after 2022 Christmas after many months of dilly dallying and regular reminders. The picture of the dinner table here does no justice to the kindness that I experienced. 3-course meal (I won’t tell you which country cuisine that was set so not to give away my staff identity -lol. If you guess keep it to yourself).?The staff had me tell them which of their country delicacy I was familiar with beforehand to ensure it was deliciously prepared. Despite informing the family few days before the visit that I will be attending alone due to wife unwell, the size of the table set was unbelievable! The conversation at the table with the sibling and parents – elderly but nice and respectful people, just broke my heart. They must not know how teary I was inside me the entire time of the visit. I maintained this strong ‘boss’ face though smiling all the time but to be honest it was all too touching!

Thank you to the dad and mum of my staff. You have a truly wonderful, professional, and hardworking child! That gesture made my year and reminded me of why I behave in the way I do especially as a leader at work!

Sometimes, I know it is tricky and much more challenging but if I must write a book on managing or leading, I must include – ‘great leaders and managers must find a way to be both professional, challenging but friendly, having a truly personal and trusting relationship with their closest staff’! No wonder when corporate leadership is discussed, you often read that "People leave managers not companies". Conversely, staff who stay in the their jobs will have a lot to say about their managers contributing to this.

Finally, as I conclude and write happy New Year 2023 to you, I remind you to strive to reduce hate and unkindness as much as possible of all kinds (eliminate entirely where possible). Especially at your workplace if you are manager or leader to kindly commit to making it a year to be truly inspiring, motivating and impacting but nice such that your staff will invite you for that THANK YOU Lunch. ?Of course, you know I am smiling as I wrote that bit underlined, nevertheless I am sure even if lunch invite is not your staff thing, they will never forget you as a true leader or manager they once had!

?Have a great year ahead!?