When You Feel Stuck

When I was a kid, I was fascinated with butterflies. Starting around age six or seven—the earliest summers I can remember—I would take my ten-foot butterfly net, run around in my backyard, and catch as many butterflies as I could, mainly monarchs, tiger swallowtails, and black swallowtails.

I had this little kid’s tent from Toys R Us, and every time I caught a butterfly, I would put it in the tent until it was filled with over twenty butterflies. Then I would go in the tent, lie down, and watch them all fly around and land on me. Afterward, I’d let them go and repeat the experience the next day.

I was not only fascinated with the butterflies themselves but their entire life cycle—they’d mate as butterflies, lay eggs on the milkweed and spicebush, hatch into caterpillars, eat until they were big, form a chrysalis, and after a couple weeks of stillness, become a butterfly. I was most intrigued by the transition from caterpillar to chrysalis because it seemed like magic. How could this little wormy caterpillar go into a shiny green shell it created out of nowhere and then emerge a completely different being, with wings and an ability to fly?

In my childhood wonder, I once peeled apart the chrysalis of a monarch butterfly. I was so curious to see what was inside. To my horror, there was nothing but mush. I’m not sure what I was expecting to find, but it wasn’t that. I tried to tape the chrysalis back together, but needless to say, that caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.

I felt terrible and spent much of the next several years of my childhood helping to raise, nurture, and take care of the butterfly population.

In much the same way as a butterfly’s metamorphosis, we all go through stages of growth. Sometimes, we’re a caterpillar; sometimes, we’re a butterfly; and sometimes, we’re transitioning from one to the other—we’re just a pile of mush.

The “mush” stage can be disconcerting and make us think, “Maybe I should go back to being a caterpillar!” Or “I need to hurry and become a butterfly already!”

It’s helpful to remember that this stage is part of a larger process of growth, and certain processes must unfold in their own time.

As you go through your own journey of discovering and deepening presence, you will inevitably transition from one way of being to another. This is exciting, no doubt, but it can also be scary.

If at any point in the process you’re confused, uncertain, or lost, remind yourself this may just be your chrysalis stage. Try to be patient with yourself as you grow. These transitions are opportunities for self-care, inner exploration, compassion, and trust. See if you can give yourself the permission to be in that stage; the maturation may have to happen in its own time, and you’ll emerge when the time is right.??

----

About Cory:

With over 500K followers across his social media channels, Cory has gained popularity for his down-to-earth, engaging, and accessible teachings on mindfulness, wellbeing, and mental health.?For the last ten years, he has offered mindfulness keynotes, workshops, and retreats around the world to companies like Bank of America, Prudential, Johnson & Johnson, Principal, Travelers, BlackRock, and more.?To bring Cory into your organization, message him on LinkedIn.