When you don't manage their behaviour, manage your expectations

The first thing first, what you should do is to let them realize that you don’t like the way they behave. It is your choice how you will make them realize and how do your respond. It is necessary so that they should not behave so in future. It will not hurt them as much as it is hurting you. So you should not worry about this and moreover if they care for you they will keep this in mind in future. But if they don’t then why should you do in such conditions? Here this quote inspires me a lot…“when you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening, that’s where your power is!”

When you come across some undesired behaviour, first of all give the benefit of doubt. If you have a habit of taking things personally every time , it means that you're apt to assume someone is directing some form of aggression towards you when they could be just joking around or having a bad day. It might be your instinct to react emotionally, but pause for a second. Maybe it's not about you. Learn how to control your emotions. Don't jump into conclusions straight away.

Try and refocus your attention from things . When you take things personally, you suddenly become so biased and judgemental and then you shift your attention from what someone said or did to how you feel. Unless you move on from that point, it's likely that you'll ruminate on the negative feeling and amplify it. Instead, focus on the other person.

Now look at how the person treats others. They might tease or insult everyone they meet. Some people are just antagonistic like that. And consider the person's insecurities. Could they feel threatened by you in some way? If so, don't feel bad for being your awesome self. Think about how you can help this person feel better about themselves. Always keep in mind that the other person may have poor communication and emotional management skills. Imagine that there's an inner child acting out, because the person hasn't learned how to deal with problems in a mature way. It's much easier to be patient and feel compassionate when you visualize a learning child at the helm of their behavior.

Of course remind yourself that you don't need anyone's approval. If you're especially sensitive to how people treat you and you often overreact, you might have a strong radar for rejection. You worry that you're doing something wrong if you pick up on any kind of displeasure, and you want to fix it. However, it is important to understand that just because someone isn't happy with you doesn't mean you've done something wrong. In many cases, it means that person isn't happy with themselves and expects you to fill in the blanks (which is impossible).

When you speak up you let the person know how you are feeling. They might not realize how hurtful or aggressive they seem and how it is affecting you. Use "I" statements. If this is recurring, use nonviolent communication to try to end the conflict and resolve any underlying issues and stop taking compliments personally, too. If you base your self-worth on how often people compliment and validate you, then you're allowing others to decide how you feel about yourself.

Like if someone compliments you, it's no more personal than a direct insult. They're simply calling it how they see it, and that may or may not be accurate--only you can be the judge of that. If someone compliments you, that doesn’t make you a better person. It makes the person who complimented a better person because they're taking the time to be supportive and encouraging. Your value remains unchanged, because it's something that comes from within. Stay blessed ! #kishoreshintre #possessedbywritingspirit #ks850articles #proudtobeindian