When you don′t know the science people can get hurt

The title is taken from the series Lie to Me.?The series is based on the work of Dr. Paul Ekman and shows the importance of knowing non-verbal and verbal communication when solving crimes. The sentence jumped out to me during one of the episodes. The main character, Dr. Lightman, said it. I think it′s a perfect title for this article.

My first job after high school was through my dad's friend, a welfare caseworker. It was as a receptionist/telephonist at the district administration office in a socio-economically disadvantaged area.?

In the multi-story building, there were two security guards, one stationed at the reception and the other doing rounds. Now and then, the personal alarm would sound, and both guards would hurry to help.

We sat behind thick glass. On occasions, visitors had become aggressive and there had been threats. The door to the right of the reception, leading to the offices, was also made of thick glass. Under the reception desk, there was a hidden button that we would press to let visitors in.

Despite being only 19 years old, I started noticing several behaviors - and communication problems between us and the visitors.

People came to us at the reception, trying to explain the need to speak with their case workers on time or risk not receiving their welfare benefits for that month. They had already tried to reach them during phone hours - several times during the week. But due to the many calls made by others, they didn't get through before phone time was up.

What I read as frustration and worry, the guards, and some of us read as aggression.

They came to us at the reception, frustrated and in need of help. And we met them behind thick glass. Sometimes we would help them. It could be small things like they forgot to fill in their phone number, and we would hand it over to their social worker. If it was urgent, we could go through the phone which was turned off, and talk directly to their social worker.

So far, no problem - we did our best to help them. But the problem was how some of them - the ones we couldn't help - showed their frustration. It was all there, in their gestures, in their words, the face mimic - the worry of not receiving their benefits - and not being able to pay their rent. Since they didn′t have the language skills to communicate how they felt effectively, it would sometimes lead to problems.

What I read as frustration and worry, the guards and some of us, read as aggression. Some of my colleagues made it a habit of calling the security guards...

The person who had the language was lucky.

We lacked empathy and understanding of their situation and we always chose the "worst version" of the other person. The opposite of the principle of charity - a charitable and reasonable interpretation of the other person′s utterances. We weren't generous enough to understand them. Yes, there were prejudices among some of the staff members. Today I might call it racism.?

The ones who had the language were lucky. They could calmly explain how important it was for the social worker to receive the missing information before a certain date - to receive their benefits. They would hand over a copy or something similar. We then left a message for the social handler, who would pick it up later.

But the ones without language expressed frustration through their voice and non-verbal communication. And it was met by people with prejudices and a lack of empathy. It′s no wonder a thick glass was needed between us.