When You Don’t Feel Appreciated at Work

As a manager, you look for ways to engage your employees, help them work together as a team and help each of them reach their full potential. But what about you? What should you be doing to ensure you stay engaged and do your best?

If you’ve ever felt underappreciated, you won’t be surprised at the results of the classroom experiment in which two plants were given the same amount of sunlight and water. But one plant was given criticism and negative feedback. The other was given sweet words, praise, and encouragement. Which plant do you think thrive more?

When your job includes managing people, it usually means sacrificing breaks, free time and even personal vacations. You work hard, so it’s natural to want some form of recognition. All of us have this need, this desire, to feel appreciated. Although your paycheck can be enough to sustain you in the short term, without any appreciation or words of encouragement, you may experience self-doubt. You ask yourself, “Am I doing the job right? What else can I do to get ahead?”

You’re not alone. A recent Gallup poll found that 65% of Americans feel underappreciated at work. What should you do about it? Bragging about your accomplishments doesn’t sound like the best idea. And, of course, you can’t let your performance slip.

Here’s how to call attention to your accomplishments with diplomacy and effectiveness — ways you can do a little “professional humblebragging.”

1. Check your expectations against reality.

Ask a trusted peer or senior co-worker whether it’s realistic to expect appreciation at this time. Is everyone busy – rushing to meet deadlines, reach quotas or get ready for a big sales push? What is the culture of your organization? Some only give feedback during performance reviews. Keep in mind: Your manager is only human and simply may not notice what you need. Be honest with yourself, too: Did you really do something extraordinary? Actually, go the extra mile?

2. Speak to your manager directly.

But before you engage in this conversation, understand the importance of leadership in an organization first to be subtle. Demanding more appreciation will only put your manager on the defensive. Instead, be prepared with a list of your recent accomplishments. Help your manager understand what it took to accomplish your goals — not only the “big things” but everything that was done behind the scenes. Use this discussion as an opportunity to ask for feedback on your strengths and weaknesses, too. That shows you’re also willing to improve and open to more future conversations on your performance.

3. Emphasize your team’s achievements.

“The feeling of being unappreciated is a failure to appreciate others.” – Unknown

If you work with a team, make sure you highlight each member’s contributions. Think about professional athletes or actors. When they receive accolades, they give credit to the members of their team. Be genuine so your words will really mean something. Be sure to balance your team’s accomplishments with focusing on your own leadership skills. Don’t be so afraid of being called a braggart that you don’t give yourself enough credit for a job well done. Remember, no one can appreciate you if you don’t appreciate yourself.

One additional note about recognizing the contributions of each team member: When you feel underappreciated, you have a better understanding of how your own employees may feel. Praise your employees when they do a good job, especially in front of their peers or other management. This will help create a culture of appreciation and recognition within your organization.

4. Validate yourself and your contributions.

“You can look for external sources of motivation and that can catalyze a change, but it won’t sustain one. It has to be from an internal desire.” – Jillian Michaels

In the long term, external sources of appreciation and praise will not be enough to keep you motivated. You need to dig deeper. Instead of getting stuck in the tedium of what you do, step back and reflect on the value you create. For example, if you manage a customer service team, you aren’t just there to monitor their calls. You are helping them learn how to increase your customers’ satisfaction. That means a lot to your customers and contributes to your company’s bottom line.

Many effective managers also set small goals and enjoy these victories. Checking things off your “to do” list and seeing even minor accomplishments will help you counteract any negativity or frustration you may feel. Don’t forget to set aside time at the end of each day to reflect on what you’ve achieved that day. Do your best to focus on the positives: What have you done well? Where can you improve?

5. Consider your options, even if it means moving on.

“Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express not to impress. Don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.” – Unknown

If, after all you’ve tried, you are still unappreciated and undervalued, it could mean you are not in the right place. People stay in a job where they don’t feel appreciated for many reasons: economics, inability to disconnect, even fear of being seen as a failure. There’s nothing wrong with admitting a job is not right for you. Think things through carefully: Can you still motivate yourself? Do the benefits of staying outweigh your negative feelings about the job? Remember, no job is worth sacrificing your emotional and mental well-being.

The dangers of underappreciation cannot be stressed enough. When you or employees feel underappreciated or unrecognized, you risk negativity, loss of morale and motivation, decreased engagement, lower job satisfaction and reduced productivity.

When you feel unappreciated, stress and anxiety can actually affect your health and sanity. Because you spend the majority of your time at work, you need to feel engaged and valued. If you are not, dig deep, find ways to keep yourself motivated, and realize you can take steps to have your contributions recognized.

If you’ve done everything in your power to be more appreciated, ask yourself if it’s time to move on. There’s nothing wrong with that.

https://hbr.org/2017/12/what-to-do-when-you-dont-feel-valued-at-work