WHEN WRITERS CAN'T WRITE

What a stranger I have been!

I thought it would be hard staring at a blank page; after everything we both have been through. I have had a year: in all the many way a year can be filled with diverse experiences and more, especially the more part while blank pages haven’t given more than it usually does despite the more the year came with. So, we got into a royal rumble. It wasn’t a battle on who was right; it was a fight on who should have known better and who should have done better. The silent treatment can’t go on anymore, hence this wager. 

Sometimes, the people you expect to be by your side during your challenging moments aren’t there, and it isn’t because they don’t want to be, but because they don’t know how to be. Writing has stood by me in times I couldn’t articulate the weathers I faced, when I had no words to describe my predicaments, it was right there holding me by hand and just squeezing it; assuring me that writing isn’t done with words but with soul. I remember the times writing had helped me see the bigger picture, to see beyond my blindsided focus and allow the light to fall on every nook and cranny. I remember those seasons of my life and career with utmost glee and genuine faith in the possibilities of the kind of writer that I am. 

In this vulnerable read, I will try my best to highlight the three different things that could be the reason behind your inability to write like you used to – in terms of both quality and quantity. Before I get into it, let me explain those two concepts briefly: 

Quality: this is the degree of elegance and excellence sieving through your writing to your desired audience. This is how easy it is to read your work, how clearly it is to get the point, how detailed your storytelling skills are, how impressive your job is and how well you’re hitting your personal goals for every work you’ve put out.

Quantity: This is in terms of goals and numbers. A lot of writers have plans for each day, week, month, quarter, or year. They know the exact number of stories, poems, articles, collaborations they want to work on and share. They have also put systems in place to achieve these goals, and it’s so personal to them that they would do whatever it takes to check these goals. 

As a writer, I know the specifics of the quality of my writing and its quantity. Before the #endsars movement, I wrote everyday exclusive of work, assignments, and projects. I meant I wrote for myself, my various audiences, and for posterity. My goal was to write every day of every week, no matter how busy or drowned in work I may be, and trust me, I was hitting it off. I wrote, collaborated, and let the world on my opinions on different issues until I didn’t. 

During the #endsars movement, I was too distraught to even work at some point. I had a lot on my mind, so many questions, and so much anger that I needed to find an outlet to channel. I thought writing would do that for me, but it couldn’t even though I tried to coerce it into doing that. After a while, I gave up on the possibilities of healing through writing, and somehow, I started to get back to normal through the lens of others. From that time to now, I haven’t been able to write anything for myself, even if it’s just for fun. 

I tried to. I stared at blank pages. I would start to write but find out that all I’ve written is incoherent, my thoughts were disorganized, and my points were indecisive. I began to question everything I knew about myself and my passion for doing life through writing. 

Whoever said love doesn’t cost a thing definitely was thinking from only one perspective as love has turned out to be one of the most expensive things I’ve ever come across in life. I had to deal with my issues before I could get this out of me to you. The writing wasn’t going to be used that way. It wasn’t ready to be used haphazardly, and I respected that point of view. So, I left it as it left me to go deal with my issues. I listened to music, took long walks, read a lot, slept a lot, daydreamed a lot, and did a lot of work. Things started to feel a lot better, but I still couldn’t write. But now that I can or that I’m trying to, I decided to share three things that affect our inability to write like we used to or like we planned to even though you are disciplined, focused, and determined. 

• YOUR MIND IS ALL OVER THE PLACE:

Emotional and mental well-being is an essential factor of productivity for every person, including writers.

I know we writers say many things about themselves because of the peculiarity of what we do, but the truth is this (I know you wouldn’t like me after this): writers are humans. Many metaphors have been strung to describe us, our mode, our mood, our vibe, our process, and trust me, I dig those deep themes, but the truth is at our very core, we are just people too. We are people with feelings with absolute no sense that comes with an intense need to be sorted. When your mind is messy, filled with more questions than answers, when your feelings are always in the way, clouding your thoughts and imaginations, you might not be able to pull yourself together to write. You might need to do some decluttering, spring cleaning, and clearing to be able to write. It might be one thing you need to sort, one emotion you need to deal with, one trauma you need to accept healing for, one person you need to forgive. Human emotions are underrated, and writers have toyed with emotions for ages. We know to underplay some feelings, and we also know how to exaggerate others. There are entire books and series of novels hinged on a particular human emotion, you’ll see it stretched in ways you never thought possible, and there are other books that berate some feelings you hold in high esteem. You are a writer, fam. Not Thanos! Not some invincible superhero.

You feel things, and sometimes, those things fill the entire being that you need to sort them for you to get on with your art. 

If you relate to this at all, share your story in the comment sections as there are other writers desperately seeking encouragement and succor, they might just find it in yours. 

• YOU’RE LOSING TOUCH WITH YOUR WHY:

Every writer has a reason for being one.

If you’re like me, you probably have a fleet of reasons for choosing to be a writer. You have something so profoundly engraved in your mind that made you prefer writing, and that propels you forward in your journey as a writer. Some people marry for companionship – having someone to love, to hold, and to do life with and even though their reason for getting married is so apparent, some of these marriages fail not because the people aren’t good but because the parties involved lost touch with the reason they got married in the first place. They stopped fulfilling their vows, and soon, they began to lose their significant other. In seasons when you can’t seem to write, having tried everything in your book and in other’s books, you might want to revisit your reason. It’s like going back to a vision board to get back on track. It’s like checking on a to-do list having strayed away for so long.

I’d like to say here that your why could have evolved, but you didn’t know. Reasons do as people mature. So maybe you’re growing as a person and as a writer, but you’re in conflict with writing now because you’re stuck writing as the person you used to be. 

As a writer, did your why ever change or evolve? Would you like to share in the comments, please? Go ahead and tell your tale. No one might be learning, but maybe they are taking note ahead of time.

• YOU MIGHT NEED TO REEVALUATE HOW YOU SEE WRITING:

I’ve read many writers describe writing as many things.

They all have shared their view of writing, what it means to them, and how dearly they hold it. Some see writing as a tool to attain greatness. Others see it as a tool to show the world their potentials. I think this is the point I get to ask you how you know the writing. What does it mean to you? What does it do for you? 

If writing has become a hassle, it may be time to check in on the expectations you have for it and how it fits into your scheme. For you to forge ahead from this point you have been stuck in, you need to do a thorough personal check-up. Ask those tough questions, dig deep for the answers, and deal with things accordingly. 

Could you relate to any of these three? Do you have stories to share on any of them? Don’t hesitate to share. We are all learning on our journey, and I’d love to read from you.