When the World Tells You “No,” Who Will You Become?

The following is adapted from Thank You, Cancer.

Before I was diagnosed with a stage IV glioblastoma, one of the most aggressive and deadly cancers in existence, I knew I wanted to make a big impact in the world. Afterward, I only became more determined.

While I wouldn’t wish brain cancer on anyone, my experiences brought me incredible clarity that I would never have had if I hadn’t walked through the fire. It was clarity so strong that it enabled me to defy the expectations of doctors, teachers, and other experts who tried to constrain the parameters of possibility for me.

The more the world told me I couldn’t attain my dreams, the more I discovered an internal rudder that kept me on course, even in the choppiest seas. If you aspire to do anything significant in the world, you will surely encounter people and situations that test your confidence. What will you do when you hear the word “no”? Who will you become?

Handling the Negativity of Others

Even while I was still in college, I was fully focused on my business. When one of my professors assigned the class a paper on our life goals, I knew exactly what to write about. Sparked by the excitement I’d found in my new healthy lifestyle and my growing business, I wrote about my vision for the future and turned my paper in with pride.

Although I was specific about the growth of my business and how I saw it continuing to develop, my professor wasn’t impressed. She told me I was unrealistic to aspire to successful entrepreneurship and expressed her doubts that I could achieve what I’d written about. Then she gave me a fifty—almost low enough to fail the whole class.

I was livid.

I stormed out of the room, got back to my dorm, and slammed the door behind me. How could she doubt me like that? Was she doubting herself too? She had her own business on the side, why couldn’t I run my own too?

I emptied my backpack out and spread everything around the room. I threw books against the wall, stomped around, and lost my cool entirely. When my girlfriend walked in, I told her what had happened—the professor told me to write about what I wanted to do, then freaking failed me on it!—while she listened and tried to calm me down.

When I calmed down, I realized that I wasn’t angry because I felt like my professor was wrong. I was angry because some part of me believed her.

When she told me I’d become a failure, she was saying out loud what I was most worried about. My challenge wasn’t to prove her wrong, but to alter my own beliefs. Her doubts—my own doubts—were as dangerous to my mindset as the tumor was for my brain.

That was when I understood that I had a choice. I could listen to and nurture the negativity my professor espoused, or I could back myself to succeed. I could treat my mindset like fuel, just like I did with my body and food.

Rolling with a Second Body Blow

As I was digesting the lessons I had received from my unwitting professor, I received a second crushing setback.

Throughout my journey with cancer, my girlfriend was amazing. She came to treatments and tests, stayed by my side, and stuck with me when I stood out from the crowd with my masks and diet. We’d been together for four years, and every morning, we’d start our day off with texts about how grateful we were for each other and for our relationship.

One morning, I woke up to a very different kind of text.

The night before, we’d been hanging out watching movies, and that day we had plans to go to a football game with some other people. Out of the blue, she sent me a long text explaining why we needed to break up.

I’d known that we weren’t quite on the same page about my business and future plans, but I didn’t think we were reading an entirely different book. She had been one of the biggest supporters in my life, and suddenly she was gone. I couldn’t even reach her on the phone or see her in person. I think if we’d seen each other it would have been harder for her and she only wanted to move past it. But I found it incredibly difficult to accept the fact that we didn’t just break up—I’d lost her completely.

By that evening, I could barely breathe. I called my mom, who told me to go to the hospital just to be safe. Somehow, I drove myself there, only to discover there was nothing wrong with me. Nothing new, anyway. It was a minor panic attack, and I just needed to go home and rest and work through it.

For a few months, I let the emotional hit of the breakup control me. I felt like I’d lost everything. I felt like I was worthless. I stopped working on my business. I almost gave up on keto, the diet that had given me hope I could beat cancer for good.

It took me a while to realize how much I had relied on the relationship and not on myself. To get back on my feet, I had to reintroduce myself to… myself. Who was I? What was I capable of? Where did I want to go?

Bouncing Back from the Brink

Coming hot on the heels of the sucker punch I took to my confidence when my professor told me she didn’t believe I could achieve my entrepreneurial dreams, losing my girlfriend felt like another huge obstacle.

In the end, however, both situations became gifts that turned me into what truly matters. I could have hidden behind them and kept myself stuck. Instead, I chose to plow through and discover a new me, just waiting to go after my dreams.

I learned that my actions come from my beliefs—as do yours. When I encountered hopelessness, I had a choice. I could make it my own, or I could replace it with a more productive mindset. Challenging our own beliefs is never comfortable, but sometimes that’s what’s necessary. Check to see whether your opinions are fears that you haven’t fully faced. Until you deal with them in your own heart and mind, you won’t be able to deal with them coming at you from other people.

Change is going to happen. Sometimes, change is going to suck. The thing is, I had no idea how much I needed that breakup. I had no idea how much I needed the negativity of my professor to shake me out of complacency.

Without those catalysts, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be writing this book or growing my business. If I hadn’t been forced to look inward and truly figure myself out, I wouldn’t know what I wanted out of life.

Change is hard, but it’s normal and it’s not a bad thing. When the world tells you “no,” who will you discover on the other side of that no? When you don’t get what you want, who will you become?

For more advice on handling change and disappointment, you can find Thank You, Cancer on Amazon.

Logan Sneed is a brain cancer survivor and entrepreneur whose online business generated a six-figure income before his 21st birthday. A stage-4 cancer diagnosis didn’t derail Logan’s desire to reinvent himself every day and pursue the dreams he wasn’t ready to give up. Today, Logan is an inspirational public speaker, social media influencer, ketogenic diet expert, and a best-self coach with a passion for personal transformation. To learn more or connect with Logan, visit LoganSneed.com.