When there is no wind in your sails

This weekend I had friends in town and we had high hopes we were going to get a break in the weather so we could go sailing. When the rain stopped and the sun came out, we were ready to enjoy an afternoon on the water.? We made a picnic and packed the cooler with drinks. Let’s do it!

We arrived at the marina and the wind died. Flat water and not even a little breeze. Again, we were hopeful things would change if we hoisted the mainsail and motored out to the harbor. Our captain, Chip, was a good sport and let us search for wind for a bit.

As a crew, we decided to just float for a while and see if we could catch a break. We weren’t getting to do what we wanted but we were still enjoying the company. We chose to have fun even though we had no wind in our sails.

At one point, we realized the tide was coming in and we were actually floating backwards toward the marina. After a good laugh and some ribbing of the first mate, we began a discussion about the benefits of taking the time to be still or even go backwards. Metaphorically - backwards is just a change in direction, yes? It doesn’t have to be a negative or a problem.

Taking a step back when you are in transition can create space for new ideas to emerge and just as important, for things that no longer serve us to fall away.

THREE WAYS TO STEP BACK

Retrace your steps.?

Looking back on your life and searching for your best self in the past can be inspiring and maybe even a little scary.?

For example, when I sold my company and retired, I took a year off to reflect on the past and dream up my new future. This was a necessary pause in my life, a time of self reflection, so that I could find my what’s next. There was an equal time spent looking at my past and toward my future.

In retracing, I was searching for:

When in my life was I the happiest, the most fulfilled and living at a high frequency??

What was I doing??

Where was I?

Who was I with?

How did I do it?

One of the places I’d been happiest in my life was Newport, RI when I was building a company that gave back to the Camino de Santiago hostels. That philanthropic inspiration and that place had been pivotal in the rebuild of my life. This retracing of my steps led me to the decision to move closer to my children who had relocated to the northeast, even if only temporarily.?

Rest your soul.?

When you have been over-giving of yourself at work, home and community, sometimes you lose sight of what exactly it is that you want and need. Your focus is on other people, tasks or deadlines. Put intense conflict, trauma or discrimination on top of that, and you have a spiritual crash coming your way.

In an article from Bowduin University, soul exhaustion is described as feeling like you are treading water for hours while barely keeping your head above water. The reason for this is that our soul needs time to repair in the same way overworked muscles or broken bones take time to heal.

When your soul is tired, it is often a sign that you are out of alignment with your purpose. Your inner flame is flickering out, and it’s time for some soul care.

Resting can feel selfish and yet it is necessary. Resting your soul is a much deeper level and has a higher payback. It involves mediation, prayer and communing with nature.

Investing in rest pays back through a boost in creativity, productivity, mood, and hopefully even a strengthening of relationships.?

Before I began my meditation practice, I was living a very high intensity life as opposed to a high frequency life. My days were filled with pressure, mostly self-imposed I have to admit. I felt obligated to completely give myself to everything I did. That was tough because I was the queen of overcommitment. I couldn’t sleep well and both my body and soul were exhausted.?

When I began taking time to listen to guided meditation in the morning and at night, it also changed how I started spending my time throughout the day. I began to carve out time for planning and used quick mantra meditation when I felt stressed. My overall existence was improving just by taking that half hour morning and night to rest my soul.

Reflection.

Taking a step back to reflect makes space for you to discover what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. Cultivating an objective viewpoint is key to productive self-awareness and deeper connection with ourselves.

Self-reflection also lets you evaluate the path that led to your current circumstances, allowing you to think about the desires and motivations that have guided you to this place. If something about your journey isn’t fulfilling,, this is the time to decide how to change either your circumstance or your response.

Throughout the process of writing my book, The Swipe Right Effect: The Power to Get Unstuck, I was experiencing deep self-reflection. Each chapter contains a piece of advice that had been given to me from a friend and how that advice had changed my path forward. And then I asked the friend to share their story

It turned out our reflection on our relationships, situations and our responses to the change in our lives bonded us even further but also built a new platform on which to launch our futures. Seeing how far each of us had come in our lives was cathartic and healing.

I recommend sharing your reflections with others as a way to solidify the takeaway of the reflection. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts on your successes and failures and even ask for feedback.?

Take time for you! Women's retreat coming up....

If you are seeking a way to get the wind back in your sails, I am excited to invite you to join me for a rejuvenating and inspiring weekend retreat in the gorgeous city of Newport, RI at a historic New England farmhouse located at the Norman Bird Sanctuary. This is your time to take a break from your day-to-day routine and discover your new life purpose, envision your future and define your legacy.

The Momentum Effect Retreat is designed to help you reframe your future and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and confidence.

There are only 8 spaces still available. Book a call now to learn more about how this retreat can change your life.?

Click here for more information.

Or watch this video to get a discount code at the end!