When the Wheels Come Off

When something suddenly stops?being successful...

I compare the feelings inside to being 10 years old again and falling in a way that knocks the wind out of you. I was reminded of that feeling recently, totally caught off guard of something I was determined I could make work. As strong as I appear to most people, I am going to be pretty vulnerable here and tell you how my next 24 hours unfolded. I cried...I was mad...then I cried again. Yes, I mostly cried for the most part of the first day. I don't cry often but two days prior I had downloaded an audible, "The Wound Makes the Medicine" by Pixie Lighthorse, that I thought was for a friend, but it prepared me for this day of just letting myself feel the pain. Throughout the day, while I let myself feel that pain, I was equally overwhelmed with reminders that everything was going to be okay.

If you have kept up with my writings, you will know this isn't the first disappointment I have experienced and although I feel as though I am a champion at being happy from the inside, and overcoming life's torpedoes sometimes you just aren't prepared. What I realized during this experience, the one thing that determines the outcome, and your next step is overcoming fear. It's not the sadness or grief that deters you from moving forward, it's about overcoming the fear of facing your past, the present and your future.

Fear is the culprit to preventing us from all the good things life brings. Fear in these different areas is created by our internal talk. It's created by life-experiences. Fear is created by institutions. Fear is created by things others have spoken to us. Fear is the enemy of happiness. Once I experience something that scares me, I work really hard at preventing that from ever happening again, I stay in control of whatever it is but what I realized is that is fear still having control over me. I had to really let go and let the opposite of fear take over, faith. Faith is believing in what you can't see yet.

I am writing about this not to talk about my own personal experience because what I also realized is there are so many people in my life currently who have their own battles and challenges worse than mine that I want to encourage, but I also want to thank some pretty incredible people who have shown me how to walk fearlessly and step out into a new season.

Whether the wheels have come off in your life like me or you're just being drug around lately and unsure of where things are headed for you. You are ultimately the one responsible for your happiness and your future. There is a path to the other side of fear.

I can't share all the details of my landing, but I can tell you this that your tribe (like Nancy Novak taught us) -your true tribe- will show up. It might be small, but the universe will open up and show up for you, and all the greenlights are there just look for them and step into it. For me I didn't have a choice, it wasn't a baby step, it was a kick and headfirst I went. Similar to when my mother threw me into the murky waters of Lake Norman when I could barely walk to teach me how to swim. I knew my mother; she wasn't coming after me. She believed I could swim and so I believed I could too, but I also knew I had to.

Everything is okay in my life, more than okay. No, I don't have all the answers, but I showed up. I chose to step into faith, and I have a stronger appreciation for people in my life. I have gotten closer to the people I love, and colleagues and industry peers became closer friends. I have also called in some lifelines and if you are one of those people you know who you are. I made a gratitude list last week and many of you were likely on it and I will remember that always.

So yeah, when the wheels do come off, it isn't that bad after all.