When we really need a mindset change

Let’s say for an easy example that every time you see cake, you can’t help yourself and have to have a slice. You have the specific attitude about cake that you want to get rid of. You first need to truly believe that you no longer want this ‘craving ‘because it isn’t serving you. It isn’t helping you on your path to becoming a better person. It isn’t making you a better child, parent, citizen, pet owner, lover or spouse.

Now tell yourself how this is making you feel. Write some of this down if it makes it easier (it does). Then on the flip side, what could you do if you didn’t ‘crave cake’? What positive things in your life would be accomplished if you got rid of this behavior? Picture all o that good and your ideal self. Next, be mindful of how you talk to yourself and how you feel when that attitude arises.

Also replace the ‘cake cravings’ with thoughts of being proactive and positive. Remember how the absence of ‘cake cravings’ is going to improve your relationships, your job, and your life. Stay on top of this change in a positive and forward thinking way. If there’s a specific activity that could help you avoid the ‘cake cravings’, sort of the polar opposite of those cravings like salad eating or going to the gym in this case, replace the thoughts with picking up that activity.

If your reactions to something are not what you want them to be, consistently practice the right reactions. Make mistakes and take criticism so that you can be the best you. If this was missing the mark and is more philosophical than psychological, then immerse yourself with things that you want to think about and ways you want to think. We are the average of the people we see most, the TV we watch most, the media and news we listen to most. Take a hard look at those things and replace them with the genre of thinking that you want to be a part of. Meet people, watch movies/TV that would get you thinking your ideal way, listen to podcasts and find those kind of like-minded people. They are out there!

God sometimes gives you some life changing triggers and that too by accident or you call in coincidence and then you start the way to look at things suddenly and that is what is called change in mindset. There are two types of mindsets, fixed and growth. A fixed mindset is when you believe you’re born with a set of skills and abilities that are part of your DNA and cannot be changed, whereas a growth mindset is when you work on building new skills and habits continually over time.

For the past four years, I’ve used my own life as a growth mindset experiment. It’s taught me so much! I’ve revamped my professional life and now love the work that I do. I’ve improved my personal life and started appreciating my friendships and partnerships. I’ve incorporated new habits like running, working out, going on morning walks, having a gratitude practice.

And, most important to me, I write every day posts and articles, sometime small things to share, or big articles. Writing keeps me disciplined, focused, and motivated. It makes me feel the most alive! Decide to focus on what you have, instead of experiencing the “fear of missing out”— is a real struggle for many people. We are social creatures, so it’s no surprise that we look to one another to see how we stack against people in our social circle. This is nothing new. But with smartphones and social media taking over our daily life, our social circle no longer includes just our family, friends, classmates, co-workers, and neighbors.

What is the downside to all this? By witnessing the lives of others (pictured as perfect, of course), we become increasingly frustrated with our own. We see only what we don’t have, where we aren’t traveling, what we haven’t achieved, how much money isn’t in our bank account. So how to change this point of view? A simple way is to incorporate a 5-minute gratitude practice into your day. Write down 3 things (also people, experiences, even pets) you are grateful for having in your life right now. For more details on how to do it, read this answer.

Make a decision to stop a negative habit if it doesn’t make you feel good. I’m sure you know where your weaknesses lie. Some people keep smoking, others can’t say no to a friend’s invitation to binge drink at the local bar, and there are many of us who are hooked on eating sweets especially during the holiday season). The bigger question is not why, but who’s in charge here? If we’re going to be completely honest, the only one in charge is and always should be. So let’s figure out a way to get rid of a bad habit.

If you have a nagging feeling that you’re doing something that’s not beneficial to you, step one is to acknowledge there’s a problem. If you create an awareness instead of stay in denial, this will allow you to move on to step two — figuring out what to do about it. Create a plan to attack it in stages. Reduce the amount of junk food you have each week, go to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual, or talk to a friend who has quit smoking and ask how they did it. What’s step three? Keep pushing yourself, stay disciplined every day even if it means you’ll be proactive 5 minutes at a time.

Start something new that takes you outside your comfort zone, even for 30 minutes a day. I tried many new things that I wouldn’t have even contemplated daily yoga and workout, for example. I thought it was for people who are super athletic and who have extraordinary lung capacity. Another great example is meditation. I thought it meant you have to sit in complete silence, with eyes closed, for hours. But with my mind being so busy and chatty, I couldn’t possibly do it. And then I started a 10-minute guided meditation with the Headspace app, and now it’s one of the best parts of my day.

What can you do that’s new, different, perhaps something you’ve always been curious to try out? Explore what that is for you. Go and do the research. Find an app to track your progress. Talk to someone who’s an expert in that field. Start with baby steps — try the new activity for 10 minutes a day, and add it to your weekly schedule. Experiment with it. Push yourself. Grow. Commit to becoming a better version of yourself, starting right now. Don’t let the phrase “better version of yourself” lead you to believe it’s something abstract or unreal. It’s as real as you want to make it.

This means different things to different people. What is better for me is perhaps not interesting to you, and that’s ok. The important part is to figure out whatever you think this better or even ideal version of you looks like. Start there. Visualize it. Who would this version of you be? Next, be honest with yourself. How bad do you want to become this version of you? If you really are dedicated to it, you’re more likely to achieve it. After that, what will it take to get you there — what’s the recipe?

Write down what you’ll need. Research it. Talk to people who will encourage you on your quest and who are also going through something similar; there is tremendous power in sharing goals with others. And then get after it: do something every single day that will get you closer to where you want to be. Now it is natural that we are going to attract that type of person, things in our life. But it doesn't mean that our life will become cake like smooth. There will be hardships, challenges to help us to excel in our life.

If we are into emotions which are not comfortable at all, then we must change our mindset to progress in our life. Accept what you have to change yourself and let go of your ego to change to everything is so beautiful. Divert all your attention from social media and turn to more motivational reading. Permanent change in the way one thinks is a bit elusive. The brain is always changing based on many factors.

I think what you are asking is how can a person have a major shift in the way one sees things in life. You want a growth mindset. One. Reality is life. Life is reality. Life is dynamic. Reality is stagnant. Humans tend to act in homeostatic behavior in relation to their reality. Reality is different for each person. Each person lives life according to their personality, morals, and values. These things are learned.

The process of shifting the mindset is to understand reality from confusion. The way to do this is through clear raised consciousness. The reason why you interpret the things the way you do or process the information that you consume is based on an awareness of how you relate to who you are and what your function is relative to the level of awareness in your energetic reality. So in order to change the way you think, you need to know who you are and understand your function.

The way to get to know who you are is to develop the relationship within. In silence and self-reflection, one discovers more about who they are as to why they exist. To understand your function, you will know by the relationships you build in an energetic reality. The energetic reality you wake up to everyday is the one you created through knowing who you are and expressing function. Cheers!